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Posts Tagged ‘Courage’

The Courage to Connect to What Matters

Monday, March 6th, 2017

spring_flowers17Where does our courage come from? How is it that even when we are scared, we do things afraid?

In thinking about courage, I dug deep into the birthing of my own courageous experiences. I noticed that I had many courageous moments, and at times, and just as equally, moments when I held back from being brave. What I discovered was:

Not only am I inherently courageous – I tap into my courageous self in order to connect to everything that really matters.

Courage is the doorway that opens up to other rooms in my life. I need all these rooms to step fully into my life. Others rooms that open up once I tap into courage are:

Curiosity, Connection, Compassion, and Creativity.

Courage is needed to cultivate all of these qualities. These qualities are the antidote to fear, anger, impatience, and apathy. I noticed that when I am courageous, I’m often afraid in the exact same moment.

Who are you when you are feeling courageous and who are you becoming?

Keep doing it afraid!

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A Midwife to My Heart

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013

Midwife BlogLonging to experience the sacred as I navigate through life, I have read hundreds of spiritual books, traveled to many holy places, met with dozens of beloved teachers, and sat in meditation until my legs (or entire body) fell asleep. Many of the methods have worked and at times they haven’t. But in my quest for the sacred within, I have discovered one way that allows me to experience the divine and go beyond the veil of my own limited beliefs and illusions. That way is the role of midwife to my heart.

My most profound experiences as a midwife to my heart emerge when I am able to step out of the way and be overwhelmed by something far greater than my own opinions, fears, doubts, and worries. Being a midwife of my heart has humbled me, awakened me, challenged me, and healed me. I am being called to show more vulnerability, expand my definition of extended family, and share my deep awareness and emotions with other midwives of the heart. It is our profound connections, our deep desires, and our wild cosmic hearts that connects us in the vastness of inner abyss.

My life and my work has been about being a midwife to the wild and wonderful ─ to the unknown and the uncertainty. Being a midwife to my heart requires a delicate blend of curiosity, courage, trust, wisdom, and the willingness to sit in the pain and discomfort. It’s a willingness to bear witness to what’s happening on the inside and take a deep dive within. As my heart expands, a new way of being is born ─ breath by breath. Every moment becomes sacred and tender.

Being a midwife to my heart can mean risk getting hurt and being mocked. But not doing it means losing some of the most meaningful connections possible. It means charting new waters, leaning into joy, daring greatly, loving deeply, living courageously, and sharing my heart with those who have earned my trust.

The birth of more love, more joy, more peace, and more connection is worth the effort. By being a midwife to my heart, I’ve birthed many meaningful relationships. I have lost some too. Yet, being a midwife to my heart has taught me to appreciate each person and the role they played in birthing new life in the world.

Perhaps you feel called to be a midwife of your heart ─ to the wild, the wonderful, and the unknown. Being a midwife of my heart is a journey and I don’t know where it is going to take me next. I’m ready for new birth and more connection. You are invited to join me in exploring what is too deep for words and too powerful for meaning, yet a miraculous experience of the heart.

Have you experienced being a midwife to your heart? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

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Seen, Heard, and Valued ─ Wild Cosmic Heart Wisdom

Wednesday, November 20th, 2013

mindfulness treeWomen from all over the US and BC gathered at Kalani to be a part of the Wild Cosmic Heart Retreat. I opened the circle with gratitude, thanking each one of them for showing up, for having the courage to express their heart, and for trusting me to create a space where they could be themselves. I encouraged participants to share what brought them to Hawaii and the retreat. I invited folks to take a breath, move beyond their thoughts, and speak from their heart.

What happened next was beyond words. Each woman spoke from their heart, many through tears, and shared their intention for the week. Sacred space and safety had been created. And that allowed each woman to show up as is ─ real, curious, scared, hopeful, open, and vulnerable.

From our opening circle, we allowed ourselves to be seen, heard, and valued. We showed up vulnerable. We did it afraid. We opened our hearts. We tried new things (and foods). And we even slowly walked around a large tree 11 times as part of a mindfulness practice. (Note: I had no idea the mindfulness walk would take an hour and fifteen minutes as I created the practice in the moment. It was one of the most profound practices all week.)

The journey now continues as we explore what this wild cosmic heart feels like and needs as we re-enter into our daily life. The edges of our heart have been softened and I sensed that we all learned there is no life with a closed heart.  

I learned that real connection happens when we show up wholeheartedly and that means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. As Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

I learned that I connect best with people when I am seen, heard, and valued. I create sacred space for others to do the same. I honor laughter and tears. I love deeply and live passionately. I am inspired easily. I live vulnerability. I show up wholeheartedly.

This is dedicated to the amazing women who opened their Wild Cosmic Hearts with me at Kalanai Oceanside Retreat Center.

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What MS Has Taught Me About Life

Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

It was a year ago that I walked into my neurologist office to get results back from a MRI of my brain after a series of symptoms and tests. I went to the appointment alone as I thought the symptoms would pass and perhaps needed some temporary medicine. I sat across from the doctor as he scrolled and clicked the computer looking at my MRI. He looked up and said, “Your results show you possibly have Multiple Sclerosis.”  I didn’t hear anything else he said after that. My mind went blank, my hands shook, and tears rolled down my face.

He invited me to come over by him and said he wanted to show me the scan. I stood up and went over and saw an enlarged version of my brain on a computer screen. He explained that the scan showed white spots, known as lesions, at various parts of my brain. And given the number of lesions and the location as well as my symptoms, it was likely that I had Mild Multiple Sclerosis. I had to go for many more tests and see many more doctors for the next seven months to rule out other possible diagnoses. 

After several months of being poked and prodded, sent to various specialist and given a variety of health diagnoses, my test results proved to show Mild Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in May of this year. A part of me was relieved to finally know what I was dealing with and how to treat it. Another part of me was in shock (and still is) that I have this. 

My world has changed in so many ways. MS has required me to slow down and rest more. It has taught me the value of advocating for myself in the medical world — especially with doctors who dismiss symptoms or patients. It has made me feel vulnerable and show up in the world with an openness I never experienced before. It has taught me to ask for help and receive. It has taught me who can show up when I don’t feel well. Having MS has deepened some friendships and let go of others.

MS has taught me to continue to live life to its fullest. It has deepened my spiritual practices, opened my heart, and led me to discover feelings that have been buried for a long time.

MS has taught me a lot about life: No one doctor or diagnosis defines you. If there are friends who can’t deal with your illness or can’t be present for you, then seek friends who can. Find people who are aware and can show they care. Give yourself permission to have your emotions — all of them. Follow your heart and your divine light. You may not change your illness, but you can change how you relate to it. You can make choices that help you. You can empower yourself by finding doctors, healers, teachers, and supportive people who are willing to listen and witness you on your personal journey.

Do things that make you happy. That might mean meditating more, having a cup of tea, talking with people you love, getting a massage, forgiving yourself, starting and ending each day with gratitude, chanting/praying or tapping into a spiritual practice that feels right for you, and surrounding yourself with people who make you laugh. 

Having MS has taught me to participate in life more fully, lovingly, passionately, vulnerably, creatively, and spiritually. That doesn’t mean I still don’t get tired or sad. It means I embrace all of it and all of me.

Machu Picchu

 

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Middle Way

Monday, July 15th, 2013

Over the last several months, I have had to deal with bouts of dizziness. I have had to make adjustments as looking up or down often triggers my dizziness. This is part of an on-going health issue and it has made me slow down. I have learned to ask for help. And I am learning more and more to ask for what I need.

As I sat in meditation, I asked for the message and gift of my dizziness. This is what came through in my meditation:

Maybe you don’t have to look up right now – heaven is right in front of you.

May you don’t have to look down right now – Mother Earth is all around you.

Look in front of you. What do you see?

Your path is right in front of you.

That is your middle way.

As you listen to what is informing you, what is your middle way?

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Share the Good Stuff Now

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

“Throw the flowers while they are alive” my friend would say. This quote has stuck with me for more than twenty years. It means we ought to say the loving thoughts, compliments, and kind words to people while they are living. I do my best to live this way as I compliment people daily, sometimes even strangers on the street. I can be found sharing kindness with the coffee vendor that serves me daily or even high-five a young boy who just graduated kindergarten.

I personally had people “throw flowers to me” after I shared with students my decision to step away as co-teacher of the Path of the White Mesa. I knew it was time to make space for a new path and expand my wild cosmic heart. After sharing about my heart-centered journey, I invited students to listen to their heart and where they are called to more deeply lead, serve, and love.

After sharing my gratitude with the students I had taught for more than six years, I received many responses filled with overwhelming appreciation and love. I hadn’t realized the impact I had with the participants and how much my presence meant to them. As students began sending their reflections and gratitude to me, I felt like it was hearing my eulogy while I was still alive.  

I am sharing some responses as a way to spread light, joy, and the impact of sharing kindness.

We all matter. Every one of us matters. Make sure the people in your life know just how blessed you feel.

I thank you always for sharing you and your gifts with us. May this new journey surround you in only love and light. You are a beautiful shining light.

The light has formed you, the light has carried you, through light you witness darkness, through light you know love. It is time to spread your wings and fly so that all of us who remain earth bound can see where you lead us.

I have so deeply loved our circles in Goshen of which you were such an important part. Another part of me is so glad for you in making this bold change and creating a new space for your own expansion. I am grateful to have had you in my circle for these past six years.

I’m going to miss you at the White Mesa gatherings. I love your smile, fantastic sense of humour, and the way you spoke and taught during the white Mesa gatherings.

You are the light that shuts out the dark. You are the essence of love and the hope we all hold on to. Continue being who you are. Your journey is perfect. Just as planned. Beauty, in every aspect of the word. 

Thank you for all the work, play, stories, laughter, and energy that you shared with me and the White Mesa circle over the years. You were the one that always made space and took everyone in!  And thanks especially for your big smile and bright eyes.  I hope to see that smile again soon!

I admire your courage to go off on your new path and honor your knowing that this is the time.  One of the statements I will remember you saying is, “Do it afraid!”

I will miss your hugs and your affectionate welcomes every time I came for the White Mesa weekend.  I send you many blessings and may your new journey be splendid in beauty, more growth and great prosperity. I love you and you will be always in my heart as a sister and teacher. Thank you for all you have given me these past years. I will miss your laughter.   

I will miss your soothing yet steady presence.  You have added the feminine heart to the white Mesa teachings and grounded our work with love, patience ….. In the most sacred container.

I know that you will forge a light path that is very sacred and powerful by creating a space where each person will have their own unique experience of the Divine. I am looking forward to being a part of it.

Thank you for always holding space. I would look up and know how grounded and present you were with each of us. I am grateful I had the chance to be in circle with you — and I know we will be in circle again.

I wish you only love and light on your continued heart journey. Thank you for your amazing hugs, contagious laughter, and your smiles. I will miss hearing your meditations and channeled messages. Yet, I carry your wisdom with me. 

You will be missed. I know you are following your path and where it leads you. You have always led with your heart as our teacher and I am filled with immense gratitude. 

Keep drumming, divine one. The world needs to keep hearing your rhythm.


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Fear as an Ally

Thursday, January 24th, 2013

Fear doesn’t have to rule your life. You can do it, even if you have to do it afraid. ~Joyce Meyer

One of my favorite Joyce Meyer’s quotes is “Do it afraid.”  That is exactly what came to mind as I was reading the new book by Jaimal Yogis, The Fear Project: What Our Most Primal Emotion Taught Me About Survival, Success, Surfing…and Love. The book explores both his personal experience as well as interviewing leading neuroscientists and other experts about the most primal emotion – fear.

Is fear something we overcome or simply an ally that pushes us forward in the world? Can you deep dive into fear so as to befriend it and allow fear to push personal limits?

Through amazing stories such as swimming in the wild currents of the San Francisco Bay to surfing 40+ foot waves in the winter, Yogis touches upon our innate fears – the fear of not trusting, the fear of losing someone we love, and our own internal fears of not being enough.

The book will give you insight as to why fear can dominate your life and ways to use fear as an ally.  His personal stories have universal themes and you will find yourself laughing out loud. As Yogis says, “Much as we like to make it into the villain, fear isn’t bad. In fact, as we’ll learn, it’s often our fear of fear – our aversion to accepting and understanding this very natural emotion – that can cause fear to spin into unhelpful panic and anxiety disorders.”

The Fear Project will give you a better understanding of “good and bad fear”  and how to push through what gets in our way to fulfilling our potential – doing it afraid.

Yogis connects his personal stories to scientific research in real and fun ways. It combines what I love best – storytelling and neuroscience. I was a huge fan of his previous book, Saltwater Buddha. This book took me to the depths of my fears – the current one of uncertainty – and gave me insight to relate to it in new and emerging ways.

When you are ready to explore fear as an ally, go read this book. Do it afraid.

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Harrowing Haircuts

Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

Get out of the chair. Get out of the chair. That was what the voice in my head was saying as I was sitting getting a haircut. I had already asked the hairdresser more than once to be gentle with my head. She had jerked my head from side to side as she was cutting it. Finally, as she started blow-drying my hair, I saw she had not listened to me about the style of cut I had stated I wanted. After taking a deep breath, I said, “Stop.” I stood up with the towel around my neck draped in the robe and said I wanted the assistant manager to fix my haircut. The hairdresser looked at me and said, “What’s your problem?” I walked away and sat in the waiting area and asked for the assistant manager and explained that I was unhappy and needed her to fix the haircut.

My voice was shaking, my hands were shaking, and I just wanted to run out of the salon. I knew I needed to speak up. I knew I needed to get out of the chair. I knew I needed to have someone more gentle and aware of what they were doing and how they were treating a client.

In general, I hate getting my haircut. I usually dread getting it. I feel so vulnerable in the chair while someone with scissors ultimately decides how long or short or how straight or wavy they make my hair. There is something unnerving about getting haircuts.

As I have declared 2013 my year of Daring Deeply, it took all my courage to get out of the chair and advocate for myself. I am learning to trust that inner voice more and more and take action. Life is about opening our hearts and listening to the calling of wisdom that beckons us forward.

Here is what that experience taught me: Get out of the chair. Speak up. Take peaceful actions.

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Tears of the Heart

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

When the phone rang last week at my office, I looked down to see that the call was from a colleague and friend. While a part of me wanted to pick up the phone and connect, there was another part of me that was feeling very vulnerable and the sound of her kind voice would probably make me cry. In a conversation we had recently I said to my friend, “I knew all you had to do was ask me how I was feeling and I would start crying.” My friend responded, “Crying is the sweat of the heart.” She completely understood the choice to let the call go to voicemail and wait to speak. We had a wonderful conversation about self-care and how sometimes that means reaching out and connecting, while other times it means going inside ourselves and being quiet.

My friend shared that what helps her when she is feeling quiet is reading Louise L. Hay affirmations. When I hung up, I picked up my box of Louise L. Hay affirmations and chose a card to read and meditate on. The card I picked up read:

You are an artist of the spirit.

Find yourself and express yourself in your own particular way. Express your love openly.

Life is nothing but a dream, and if you create your life with love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art.

My heart sweated and tears came. Thank you Jude.  

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Breathing Gratitude

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

I am grateful for… 

my breath

my heartbeat 

my partner

the sun on my face

wonderful friends

amazing colleagues/co-workers

Toning the OM

being of service

traveling to Peru 

giving a retreat in Hawaii

meeting heart-centered people

making a difference

big hugs

lots of laughter

my health

celebrating LIFE.

And you?

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