Recently, I read that we have as many as 65, 000 thoughts a day. Imagine if you caught just one thought and held on to it for a moment. What would the thought say? Whatever it is, it is just a thought. No more and no less – until we give it meaning.
I realized how neutral thoughts are after spending a weekend doing The Work with Byron Katie in New York City with over 3oo hundred people. We had the opportunity to inquire deeper about our thoughts after asking four simple and profound questions.
“Is it True?” (Answer with a yes or no only)
“Can you absolutely know that it is true?” (Answer yes or no only)
“How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?”
“Who would you be without the thought?”
Following the four questions is the Turn Around Statement. “Each turnaround is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see what you and the person you’ve judged have in common.” (http://www.thework.com)
Throughout the weekend with Katie, I often sat at the edge of my seat, smiling, laughing, crying, sighing, and at moments holding my breath as people told their personal story. Everyone’s story became my story because there was a lesson about a thought I believed about myself that holds me back. As Katie says, “Listen for what we believe along the way that prevents us from living now.” Katie walked participants through The Work – one thought at a time.
We talked about what happens when we react to our thoughts about infidelity, lies, guilt, and even global torture. Katie challenged us to go beyond what others do to us and ask what we do to ourselves with our thoughts. When are we unfaithful to ourselves? What lies have we told ourselves? Where do we wrong others and torture others in our life? Once I believe something terrible about somebody else and it hurts me, and the hurt makes it true – that is my work. As Katie says, “Once I believe the thought, I become responsible.”
During lunch, Katie sat at a table to sign her books. (I love book signings!) As I stood on line waiting, I wondered what I could possibly say to this amazing teacher. When it was my turn, I opened up her book on the table, and in a soft whisper said, “Thank you.” In Katie style, she looked up, held my hand, and said, “Oh, honey, thank you.” Her beautiful crystal blue eyes stared into mine. I leaned in and said, “I am free.” Her eyes and mine both filled with tears as we stood for a moment in silence. Katie, holding my hand tighter, said, “I love you. I love that you are free.” A soft still moment followed by a big deep breath.
Exhale. I am free – one thought at a time.