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A Coming Out Party!

A coming out party is in order! The recent buzz of Ricky Martin didn’t feel like the usual announcement — “Yep, I’m gay.” Rather his announcement was more like, “Yep, we know you are gay.” From Adam Lambert to Sean Hayes to Ricky Martin, more and more people are coming out of the closet. By the time they publically announce their sexual orientation, there have already been rumors flying around. After coming out, people want to know what took them so long.

Every “coming out” is personal and courageous. As my friend Joe Monkman shared in his blog, Fishing for Soul, “Denying who we are and living an inauthentic life can sometimes (maybe all the time) create suffering.” Living authentically means embracing who we are and allowing our full light to shine.

I think back to high school when I realized I was gay and was hoping and praying no one in my Catholic High School knew. I thought I did a pretty good job hiding it and paid the price by withdrawing, suffering from depression, and emotionally shutting down. I carried a story about high school up until this year when finding friends on Facebook gave me the opportunity to reconnect with so many alumni. I actually thought my high school friends would not even remember me and even blew off my 20 year reunion a few years ago as a way to keep the story alive about feeling so disconnected in high school.

As I began to reestablish connections with high school friends, I saw how all of our lives held many versions of “coming out in the world” – whether it was getting married, finding a life partner, having children, moving away from family, getting a divorce, having to deal with children who have special needs, or being courageous in our careers. Every day we have the chance to come out. Over the last 20 years, I have come out as a gay woman to my family, my friends and my co-workers (that’s a story all unto itself). I have come out in many other areas of my life as well. I have had to accept myself as an entrepreneur and small business owner. I have declared myself to be a writer. I am out in the world as a Life Coach. Each one of these parts of my life is a chance to shine my light – to play bigger – and to stop hiding who I am.

How do you come out in the world? How do you want to come out fully and shine your light for the entire world to see? Let’s all have a coming out party!

Mary Anne

This is dedicated to all my family and friends—especially to my friends from Paramus Catholic High School for accepting me after 20+ years (despite my blowing off the reunion).

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