After listening to the recent heated debate of whether or not to allow the Marriage Equality Act to come to the New York Senate floor for a vote, I started thinking about how acceptance is easy if we allow it. This sparked a long-ago memory of how my mom came to accept my sexuality. [While this story may not be verbatim, the essence of it is absolutely true.]
My mom was quite distraught (along with other family and friends) about my coming out back in 1996. She was devastated and decided to speak with our local Catholic Pastor, Fr. Davis, whom she had known for a long time. My mom explained just how upset, disappointed, and even scared she was that she had a gay daughter.
The Pastor asked three questions:
“Do you love your daughter?” My mother said of course she loved her daughter.
“Is she kind?” My mother said her daughter was kind and generous and very giving.
“Is she living the Gospel and doing the work of Jesus in the Bronx?” My mother said I was caring for children in the South Bronx and was doing service for others just as Jesus had.
Fr. Davis then asked my mother if anything else mattered other than love and living the Gospels.
Soon after that meeting, my mother called to invite my partner (whom earlier was not allowed to come over) and me to the house for dinner. My mother and father quickly came to love and accept my partner as a part of my life.
Yes, acceptance is that easy if we allow it.
Mary Anne
This is dedicated to my mom who had the courage to question her beliefs and to Fr. Davis – both of whom are now in heaven still telling stories.