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Posts Tagged ‘Insight’

What Is Your Emotional Map Revealing to You?

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

While working with a coaching client, she expressed how she was feeling much more freedom in her life. I asked her what had changed that allowed her to feel this freedom.  She had the insight, “Living and coloring outside the lines has allowed me to live the way I want rather than what others want. I started to notice how I was feeling and paying attention to my heart.”

Emotions are often the map to our thoughts. In the Frame of Mind Self-Guided Course, there was an assignment about paying attention to feelings. “Paying attention to how you feel is most important because your feelings are a barometer for the types of thoughts that are dominating your mind. Your thoughts produce your feelings. Do you want to feel differently? If yes, then you need to change your thoughts.” How are you paying attention to your feelings?

As my friend Judy Kinney says, “Are you open to the idea that the condition of your life reflects the quality of your attention?” What are you paying attention to these days?

What is your emotional map revealing to you? What’s dominating your heart lately?

May love be your guide and light show you the way.

Mary Anne

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Accident or Purpose

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

forestroadAfter more than 9 years, I decided this past May it was time to move on with my spiritual teacher. It was not an easy decision. She has been my teacher, therapist, shaman, coach, and confidant for a long time. She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. She was there after my mom died and my heart was consumed with grief. And she celebrated with me when I started my company, Toning the OM™, and eagerly awaited to hear about my next venture, creative project, workshop, and collaboration. Every step of the way, this amazing woman was with me on my path.

One day I was sitting in meditation and I asked for guidance on where and how to deepen my spirituality. The answer that came, and the one I ignored until May, was that it was time to move on from my teacher and create a new path. I walked into her office and said, “I think it’s time for me to go.” Smiling, she said, “I was waiting for you to say that.”

We decided we would spend some time over a period of weeks reviewing and giving space for completion. We wanted to be sure we gave our long journey together a proper ending. I knew it was the right decision, and yet, after the reality of my words hit me, I cried my eyes out. Nine years of having a witness from someone who only wants wholeness and love is a long time. I knew this was a big step into transition. I didn’t have a plan for who would be my next teacher. I just knew our road had come to an end. We completed the last week of June and I wasn’t sure I was ready for this unknown territory – the abyss – to be my teacher.

As I was internally preparing for my last session with my spiritual teacher, I reached out to friends to get their advice of what I should do next, how to find another teacher, and how to sit in the space of transition. For the most part, my friends said to allow myself time and space, to be in the fog, to be open to what’s next and who’s next. It wasn’t the answer I wanted. I wanted my friends to say, “Go back to your teacher and stay there forever” or “I have a teacher for you”, or even “You would love my teacher.” None of that happened. All I heard was people saying to just stay in this empty space.

I went to my next mode of action. I begged God to show me my next teacher. “Just give me a sign God” I implored. Then three days after my completion with my teacher, I was in a car accident. An SUV slammed into the passenger side of the car I was in and smashed the whole door. I walked away, stunned and shaken. The talk to God shifted to shouting the question, “Are you kidding me God?” I even screamed, “First I lose my teacher and now I lose a car?” After calming down, I realized I just needed to be in the space of transition on every level. For the next few weeks I had to pay attention to my neck and back. I had to slow my pace down and recalibrate my nervous and energetic systems. I had to listen to what I needed, ask for help, connect with friends, do some writing, meditate, and listen to nature. In this quiet space, I began to see what and who informs me.

Oddly enough, the accident gave me purpose to reveal myself more humbly and lovingly. I trusted myself and others in ways I had not been able to do before. I even asked a coaching classmate to help me walk through ideas of how to find a new teacher. She asked me what I was looking for in a spiritual teacher. I told her I wanted someone who is compassionate, smart, generous, challenging, and knows my head and heart enough to push me. Her answer to me was, “Wait, isn’t that you?”

I received more confirmation on the same day when I saw my shaman friend, Joe, and he looked me in the eyes and said, “The teacher you are waiting for is you.” The accident showed me it was inside all along and the teacher I was looking for was me. I am the one I have been waiting for.

So I can’t help but wonder – accident or purpose?

Mary Anne

This is dedicated to my spiritual teacher, GH, who taught me that my inner compass will always show me the way and to my many, many teachers throughout my entire life.

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