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‘Love What Is Now’

Monday, March 1st, 2010

In early January I had the honor and privilege of guiding a shamanic healing session with an incredible woman who was going to have surgery to have her leg amputated because of numerous infections. After my session with Monica, we spoke about new ways of looking at ‘healing’ on many levels. I gave her a mantra to repeat as part of her on-going healing and asked her to wait and see for what unfolds. The mantra was: ‘Love What Is Now.’ Last week Monica sent me an email that I believe expresses a beautiful experience of Love What Is Now and has given permission to share it. Below is an excerpt.

“I went to work with Bryan after the appointment. It was so nice to not be homebound I crazily said, “Take me to work. I’ll clean up your messy file cabinet. I know you have one.” Bryan laughed. We got some lunch and then headed to his office.

After everyone saw me come in with one leg, Bryan set about doing his own work while I filed. As he was copying something outside his office door, I heard someone ask him, in a polite, well-intended tone, “How can you stay so strong and love so much in this situation with Monica?”

He paused a moment, but not too long and said, “I love what is. Right now. You have to or you go crazy over what could be…or not be. I love what IS…NOW.” I heard some mumbles from the other person about how great that was and something to think about. Bryan came back in his office door whistling and winked at me, “Got ears like a hunting dog. Dontcha?” and kissed my forehead, “but I’ve said that before without you here, so there!” I just grinned and continued sorting the files. And, so, now he knows the story behind the mantra. I shared it with him as he worked and I filed.

I hadn’t previously told him the mantra you shared with me during your shamanic journey and that I repeat several times a day to keep me grounded. And then it came up over the weekend as we toured the new remodeling of our first home. “Hon, what do we need to do right now?” I said, “Love this house as it is?” He nodded. “One layer at a time. Let’s get settled with the newness we have and then talk about other remodeling later.”

I’m learning that loving what is now isn’t just about me, but many other things in my world. Love my work in the stage it’s in. Keep pressing forward, but relish where it’s at right now. Love where my marriage is now, regardless of whether we have children or not. Love my body, even if there’s only one leg and love me…

Love. Love. Love. Right this very minute. So every time I get frustrated and I find something to love about that very moment, even if it’s that it presents a problem for me to solve and learn from.”

Love What Is Now
Mary Anne

This is dedicated to Monica Foster who has been a light that shines so brightly for all of us to see. Thank you for allowing us to learn through and with you.

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February OM Meditations

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

I am celebrating the joy and love of another month! One way I am celebrating is to share my morning meditations and contemplative questions as a way to open up to more love.

As an invitation, feel free to close your eyes, sit with your spine straight and take a few soft breaths. Then inhale a little deeper through your nose, and on the exhale, repeat the mantra OM (AUM).  Do this three times. Allow yourself to really feel everything and become the observer of your thoughts. Feel free to focus on one question or statement below and just allow your experience to unfold.


Daily living is our enlightened state. How are you living?

I am the perfect companion I seek with another.

When you question the mind, the only truth left is love.

In the end, love shows up, and if you are open to receiving it, the experience of love is infinite. How do you experience immeasurable love and how does it show up in your life?

How do you define and experience ceremony?

The magic moment, the miracle, the unexpected is happening – are you willing to take the risk and listen to it?

Beloved, what do you hear in the silence?

There is nothing to undo.

I will wait for you – always. In your time, I am here.

Each person will have their own experience­—the invitation is to be open for whatever thoughts flow through you. Allow your mind and body to expand into the experience (without judgment).  Feel free to start with whatever mantra calls to use.

May you experience expansive love in every way. I would love to hear about your meditation experiences – drop me a line anytime!

OM Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,
Mary Anne

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Empty and Full

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Time and IllusionI am a creature of habit. Every morning, after getting ready for work, I check my emails, read a few blogs, and scan some ‘tweets’ on Twitter. I look for inspirational quotes, stories, and book recommendations that make my mind and heart expand. I always find something.

Recently, I read a tweet of a Haiku poem by Stevie Ray Robinson, and I immediately emailed it to myself so I could print it out and put it in my journal. It expressed in a few words the simplicity of being empty and full, and fading illusions.

Beginning and end…
Empty and full of all thoughts…
Illusions fade now

Each word has meaning. The words, empty and full of all thoughts, repeated in my head. There is a sense of flow and nonattachment. In infinite time and space, my habits could be less restrictive and more expansive.  As I create new habits of self-love, self-care, deeper connections, expressing my voice, and writing daily, this Haiku reminds me of something my beloved teacher and friend taught me many years ago with the expression,  “We ought to take our work very seriously, but not take ourselves so seriously.

Some of my habits will fade away and the ones that remain will be full of passion, happiness, and love. May every word I express today be generous and expansive.

To being empty and full,
Mary Anne

Thank you Stevie Ray Robinson for sharing your beautiful Haiku. I want to dedicate this blog to my friend Louis Alloro for deepening my understanding of limitless time.



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Immeasurable Love

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Immeasure LoveIn the blink of an eye, January turned into February. The love month is here. Everywhere I look, there are hearts in the window, chocolate candies in the stores, and love cards – ‘when I care enough to send the very best’ (Hallmark). Love can be expressed in so many ways.

This past weekend, I had a horrible head cold. It kept me up at night as I worked my way through three boxes of tissues. In the early morning hours, I sipped tea and drank juice hoping for some relief. What made me feel better was my partner going to the store early Saturday morning in 13 degree weather to buy me tissues, juice, soup, tea, Airborne, vitamin water, and much more. She set up the room so I would have everything I needed while home sick and went back to the store on Sunday to buy me more tissues and she even made me homemade chicken soup. It’s moments like this weekend when my gratitude for my life partner is beyond words – it is immeasurable love.

There have been so many experiences of immeasurable love that have occurred throughout my life. Love appears in ways so sweet and simple. There is the random text from a friend, “Sending you love.” There is a phone call to see how I am doing and to just say hello. Love has come in the form of a sharing a fabulous meal for hours and a friend inviting me over to spend time and enjoy a Pilate’s/Yoga class together. And there are no words to express the love that comes from a 7-year-old, especially when every phone call ends with him saying, “I love you too Aunt Mary Anne, lots and lots.”

Love takes many forms in marriages, relationships, or friendships. There is no way I can describe my love for my partner of over 15 years, and, the next time she feels under the weather, you can be sure I will gladly go to any store to get her what she needs to feel better.

In the end, love shows up, and if you are open to receiving it, the experience of love is infinite. How do you experience immeasurable love and how does it show up in your life?

Sending you love,
Mary Anne

This is dedicated to my life partner, Lorene, whom I love with all my heart.

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Monthly OM Meditations – January

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

OMIn my last post, I shared about my Happiness Project and offered some ideas on how to start your own. One of my happiness project themes included “self-care” and that meant setting aside time daily to meditate, even if it is for 10 minutes. These meditations have been so powerful and sweet that I have decided that every month I will post some of the questions and thoughts that have flowed from these contemplations.

As an invitation, feel free to close your eyes, sit with your spine straight, and take a few soft breaths. Then inhale a little deeper through your nose, and on the exhale, repeat the mantra OM (AUM).  Do this three times. Allow yourself to really feel everything and become the observer of your thoughts. Feel free to focus on one question or statement below and just allow your experience to unfold.

What is your love poem to God/Spirit? Speak it, share it, sing it.

What is the spring from which everything flows?

Supplies of the heart are abundant.

Be love. The rest is just details.

I will wait for you – always. In your time, I am here.

Go with what is and the rest will take care of itself.

I am aware of what my breath is teaching me in this moment.
I am present to my breath.

There is a sunburst of light waiting to glow in the sky of each heart.

Each person will have their own experience so the invitation is to be open for whatever thoughts flow through you. Allow your mind and body to expand into the meditation (without judgment).  Feel free to start with a mantra that calls to you. 

My experience of the mantra OM is beyond language–it’s a powerful vibration–the sound before sound.

See what makes you feel happy and follow that rhythm. I would love to hear about your meditation experiences – drop me a line anytime!

OM Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,
Mary Anne

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Words That Jazz You! Unearth – Radical – Koan

Friday, December 4th, 2009

Scrabble[1]For as long as I can remember, I have loved writing. When I was in grammar school I had a habit of skipping words in my sentences which made teachers have to guess what I was thinking. They would fill in the blank and while it didn’t give me an A grade, it did provide much amusement to my teachers (which I found out much later). This love of writing includes a fascination with words, their origins, and their numerous meanings.

My fascination with words was sparked earlier this year when I wrote a post on Facebook that talked about giving a course on Radical Forgiveness. A friend commented on my status with information on the origin of the word radical. He told me it comes from the Latin word radic-, radix, which means root. It reminded me of the origin of other words I have learned over the years. For example, the words “perfection” and “perfect” come from Latin expression perficio, which means to finish or bring to an end.

When I come across a word I resonate with, the word repeatedly appears. One of my favorite words is “unearthing” and I have now come across that word many times. In his book, Catfish and Mandala, Andrew X. Pham wrote, “Where is this place I am seeking? There is only ash. Secretly, I am thankful no one is witnessing this unearthing of my roots.” Now, the words radical and unearthing appear in books I read, conversations I have, and even in the news.

There are also times I have used an uncommon word and suddenly it shows up in my life. While on vacation this past Fall, I used the word “koan” in a game of Scrabble. A koan is described as an unanswerable question or statement not comprehensible by rationale understanding. It’s not a word one would use in everyday conversation unless one uses this as part of their meditation practice. When I returned from vacation, I received Byron Katie’s newsletter and the header was “Katie’s Koans.”  Two weeks later while in a bookstore, I saw a book titled, Bring Me The Rhinoceros and Other Zen Koans. I picked it up and started reading it when suddenly the man standing next to me said, “That’s my book. Would you like me to sign it for you?” Words not only appear, but so do the authors!

And just last week, while shopping at the Union Square Crafts Fair in NYC, I visited the Nicola and the Newfounderlander booth. They put together magnets and pins of words that have disappeared from usage, such as, macarism, – “to find joy in another’s happiness”; eustress, – “something that makes you both a little crazy and a little happy, but a little more happy than crazy”; and my favorite is maieutic, which means, “to give birth to ideas.”

I wonder what new words will now be more present in my life. May you unearth a radical koan that will maieutic to more in your life! What’s your favorite word? Is there a word that keeps showing up in your life? Let’s have some radical play!

Have fun! Mary Anne

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Forgiving – Radically & Peacefully

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

ForgivenessIn one of my meditations this year I wrote the following: “How is not forgiving showing up in your body, your mind, and your relationships? Forgiveness is a means whereby ALL experiences and relationships happen FOR us. Forgiveness is the freedom of peace and the peace of freedom.”

Earlier this year I read Colin C. Tipping’s book, Radical Forgiveness – Making Room for the Miracle, and experienced a ‘radical’ way of looking at forgiveness. I contemplated the concept that everything happens FOR me and not TO me. I began to stop playing small, playing the victim, and began appreciating people for what they could teach me. As I became more open and available to life’s lessons, I was able to see relationship patterns and how I was responsible for all of them. Suddenly, I experienced an inner peace like never before. I was showing up in relationships with family and friends in peaceful ways. More of my relationships began to expand.

I began to deeply listen to shamanic and coaching clients I was working with and their struggle to forgive themselves and others in their life. Clients expressed how they were clinging on for dear life for an apology or to their anger over a situation. With this in mind, I asked how willing they were to look at forgiveness in a new and radical way. I invited clients to imagine all the energy it was taking to hold on tightly to the anger and hurt and instead imagine this space being used to create more joy, more peace, and more love. Upon reflection I have come to discover that forgiveness is a journey, a process, and a resting – of getting to a place within and just resting. As part of this journey, I have read some profound thoughts on forgiveness from many teachers. These quotes have helped me make room for more love and I am hoping they might do the same for you.

“Forgiveness does not mean that we suppress anger; forgiveness means that we have asked for a miracle:  the ability to see through mistakes that someone has made to the truth that lies in all of our hearts. Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. Attack thoughts towards others are attack thoughts towards ourselves. The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive.”  Marianne Williamson

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude.”  Martin Luther King

“I could see peace instead of this.”  A Course in Miracles

“Forgiveness is realizing that what you thought happened, didn’t”  Byron Katie

Are you open to making space for more love, more peace, and more freedom? As Mother Theresa says, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

If you are open to making yourself available to a radical way of looking at forgiveness, join me for an upcoming 4-week telecourse, “Resting in Radical Forgiveness”, starting Wednesday, November 18, 2009. For information & to register:  https://www.toningtheom.com/upcoming-events/#resting

“Forgiveness is the freedom of peace and the peace of freedom.”

Peace, Mary Anne

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Gratitude Attitude

Monday, July 27th, 2009

GratitudeAttitude“What are you grateful for?” asked one of my teachers at the start of her class a few weeks back. Answers ranged from new clients, to family, to new learning, to friends, New York City, museums, to health. The teacher then asked if it was common for us to think about what we are grateful for as a regular practice. Much to her surprise most of the class said yes. “Really – you have established a way of noticing what you are grateful for?” she asked. Students began saying they write daily, or have a morning or evening ritual of expressing their gratitude list. Surprised by this, the teacher then asked, “Well, do you think other people think this way? Is this normal in our society?” The conversation was meant to lead us towards believing that “other people” view the world from scarcity and not abundance. And of course, there are plenty of people that view the world from lack of, receive their information from local newspapers, and watch doom and gloom on the news.

Here is what I discovered from that conversation. I realized that gratitude is an attitude that once you have it, you can make it a regular practice like brushing your teeth. I began to question if people really do think about gratitude. Interestingly enough, I began to do an inventory of the significant people in my life who impact who I am and who I am becoming. I realized all of these people have some form of expression of gratitude that they share. As I like to quote my friend Fr. Bob, “You are who you hang out with.” So, I choose to hang out with people who are grateful for what shows up in their life – including the tough lessons. I am surrounded by gratitude!

Here is my experience: when I am open, the world is open, when I am grateful, the world is grateful. Yes, there are times when it is easy to say what’s not working, but by creating a gratitude habit, I can create a new gratitude attitude every day.  As Louise Hay says, “Gratitude opens the way for more good to come into your life.”

What’s your gratitude attitude? What are you grateful for?

I am grateful for new learning, my life partner, Lorene, the opportunity to buy a new car, incredible co-workers, my clients, the White Mesa allyu, my coaching colleagues/friends, my friendships of unyielding support – Paulette, Val, Joe, Louis, Didi & Ellenrita, my family, my blog, books, meditation, the building of international connections (South Africa), my chiropractor, a massage, my faith, and my ability to hold space & so, so much more!

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“Truth Be Told – I Choose You”

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

Truth Be Told - I Choose You

Truth Be Told - I Choose You

I opened up my email from a friend, and read the first line, “Truth be told – I choose you.” Seeing the words on the screen, a flood of tears came. I took a breath and read it again. More tears came rolling down my cheeks. Suddenly, I felt overcome with emotion. I turned the computer off and just repeated the words. I felt a huge release come over my body. I began to shake and I could feel an old protective rusty cage around my heart snap open. My heart felt softer and expansive at the same time. Years of caution and mistrust just melted away with that one powerful line.

My heart felt open and ready to receive love. I wiped the tears from my face and sat quietly. I repeated the line, truth be told – I choose you, over and over again. Voicing the phrase aloud, I felt an enormous power inside that revealed a pure essence that has always been there, but one I had not accepted. Each word in that line was a transformative vibration – truth, be, told, I, choose, you. This phrase represented the grandest invitation to life. This is the experience of totality – the gift of fully inviting another person on your life’s journey. It’s the power of invitation.

When we invite others to join us on our journey, we open ourselves up to a vulnerable place that can reveal incredible gifts. If we really allow others into our hearts, we can experience the fullness of life. One invitation can be the difference in how we experience the world. Inviting others into our world can be a life changing event. Truth be told – I chose you was a spiritual awakening.

I so deeply experienced the intimacy of allowing a friend to connect with my essence – it wasn’t about what I do or who I know – it was about inviting me because of who I AM. I felt like an apostle when Jesus said, “Come, Follow Me.” This is the greatest of faiths. The invitation is about dropping everything to be present with another.

I turned the computer back on, read the line, and smiled. I felt so much gratitude to have such a wonderful friend and hoped she knew just how powerful that opening line was in her message. There was so much relief after so many years of carrying such a protective cage around my heart. Now, my heart feels open to receive more love in every form.

How do you invite more love into your life? Byron Katie says, “Love is action.” Choose to invite someone into your heart. Give the gift of invitation.

Truth Be Told – I Choose You, Too!

Special thanks to my friend for sending me this powerful message of invitation and love. I am blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for opening my heart and feeding my soul.

More Love!

Mary Anne


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