Posts Tagged ‘Time’
Embracing the Quiet
Wednesday, February 17th, 2021
I have come to terms with doing less and being more. I have written so many things in my head that have not made their way to the page. I have come to terms with spending the past year being in the moment. While I have appreciated seeing or reading about many people being so productive this past year (learning a new skill or cleaning out rooms or closets), I have spent the last 12 months listening and tending to myself.
Instead of keeping busy, I have been quiet. With less meetings, events, baseball games, nights out, vacations, or people to get together with, my schedule became empty—and I chose to not fill it. Rather, I studied the birds out my window. And watched the starlings leave the pine tree when it became invaded by grackles. I watched the cherry trees bloom from the bare branches to large pink flowers. I marveled at the squirrels leaping from tree to tree as the great chase became a daily comedy show. I lingered with my morning coffee enjoying the ever-changing sky. Unable to read novels most of last year, I found myself downloading podcasts and binge-watching television shows. At first, I felt guilty about my inability to read, write, or facilitate (on-line) workshops. And I made the mistake of comparing myself to other people who seemed to be doing so much. Yet, friends shared that they felt just as alone and scared during this time.
I was feeling so much grief about losing people I knew to the virus, working alone in my dining room for hours, staying inside, and the loss of not seeing family and friends. In The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Wheeler writes, “Grief also reveals the undeniably reality of our bond with the world…We need grief in order to heal these traumas and make sense of a world turned upside.”
I needed grief to show me the way out and show the way in. I needed this quiet time to connect me to grace and God. And I needed to embrace the quiet within myself. Am not sure what this time will mean to me years from now or what lessons it will have given me. But I know that I have appreciated the small things, like long walks, songbirds, books, my sister’s homemade meals, and the need to not rush anywhere. For now, the quiet feels like a homecoming. And for today, I am embracing the quiet.
How Are You Spending Your Time Today?
Monday, September 20th, 2010
Every so often I pick up Robert Grudin’s book, Time and the Art of Living, and read a passage that becomes my focus for the week (or longer). When I flipped open the book, here is the paragraph I opened to:
“When building a nest of time, be certain of its dimensions. Its duration should not depend on something unpredictable — a homecoming, a phone call, or your own whim — for then its outer fringes, beginning and/or end, will be weakened by uncertainty. It should be long enough for the activity it includes, not so short as to be rushed or so long as to be oppressive. If possible it should look out, like a room in a country house, toward some pleasant prospect of future time — a meal, a meeting, a rest. Protect these periods also from within. A telephone or television set or radio, for example, can ruin time as thoroughly as a hole in the roof or a missing door can ruin interior space. A confused schedule, conflicting obligations or habitual distraction all crack the walls of time, leaving us defenseless against an infringing environment.”
How will you spend today?
Mary Anne
“Lost” Taught Me About Remembering
Monday, May 24th, 2010
The final episode of “Lost” aired this weekend and for anyone who has been watching the show for six years it was a typical ending in that it left viewers asking more questions. I think what the show did best over the last six years was allow for amazing discussion around time, faith, redemption, light, darkness, and interconnectedness. For me, I became deeply invested in the relationships of the characters, and of course, wanted a happy ending.
The show’s brilliance was its ability to move us through time and connect the past, present, and future. It felt very shamanic as people called forth their emerging self while releasing their past. Characters were often asked to “let go.” I felt like the show asked us to remember our original selves. It gave us the big questions: Who am I? Who am I now? And who was/am I to you? And as Charlie asked on the last episode of the first season, “Guys, where are we?”
The highlight of the last episode was watching the characters in the flash side-ways remember who they were on ‘the Island’ in relation to one another. Our ability to remember is often what connects us. Even small glimpses, like remembering a smile, can keep people alive in our hearts. After my mom passed away, I told my spiritual teacher, “I’m not afraid I will forget her. I am afraid I will not remember.”
If the show did nothing else, it reminded us that we are all related and connected. It’s about finding one another and remembering one another. It’s about the journey of life (and death). It’s about choice and acceptance. It’s heaven on earth and earth on heaven and everything in between. Each character’s transformation through the multi-universes showed us a journey through self-awareness and ultimately personal enlightenment.
What is our state of remembering? What allows each of us to remember that light within that is always there?
To remembering,
Mary Anne
Empty and Full
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010
I am a creature of habit. Every morning, after getting ready for work, I check my emails, read a few blogs, and scan some ‘tweets’ on Twitter. I look for inspirational quotes, stories, and book recommendations that make my mind and heart expand. I always find something.
Recently, I read a tweet of a Haiku poem by Stevie Ray Robinson, and I immediately emailed it to myself so I could print it out and put it in my journal. It expressed in a few words the simplicity of being empty and full, and fading illusions.
Beginning and end…
Empty and full of all thoughts…
Illusions fade now
Each word has meaning. The words, empty and full of all thoughts, repeated in my head. There is a sense of flow and nonattachment. In infinite time and space, my habits could be less restrictive and more expansive. As I create new habits of self-love, self-care, deeper connections, expressing my voice, and writing daily, this Haiku reminds me of something my beloved teacher and friend taught me many years ago with the expression, “We ought to take our work very seriously, but not take ourselves so seriously.
Some of my habits will fade away and the ones that remain will be full of passion, happiness, and love. May every word I express today be generous and expansive.
To being empty and full,
Mary Anne
Thank you Stevie Ray Robinson for sharing your beautiful Haiku. I want to dedicate this blog to my friend Louis Alloro for deepening my understanding of limitless time.