I remember hearing the story about coming into the world premature. My birth story included hearing how I was born seven weeks early. Separated from my mother right after birth, I was transferred to another hospital, put in an incubator, and hooked up to breathing support tubes and machines.
The story of needing support to breathe and being in an incubator has been on my mind after a recent shamanic journey meditation. In my deep state of meditative trance I heard, “All I ask of you is to remember me.” I wasn’t sure of the meaning, but I had clear images of being in the incubator and trying to breathe.
I don’t recall taking my first breath or breathing on my own. To this day, I find myself holding my breath when I’m stressed. At times, my breath is shallow.
During the journey meditation I also heard, “I exhaled so you could inhale.” Was that my mother speaking to me?
The second most meaningful breath was my mother’s last one. I wasn’t there to see my mom’s last exhale, but knew her struggle with breathing through the years. Two breaths: my first and her last.
Perhaps it’s possible that with each inhale, we breathe in the world and with each exhale, we free ourselves of struggles in the world. Maybe with each breath, we gain insight and release pain. Each breath is a miracle that allows us to experience life and emptiness.
The journey ended with the words, “Stop struggling. The struggle is over.”
And so it is.
