Archive for November, 2016
Grief Revisited
Wednesday, November 16th, 2016
There was a time grief knocked on my heart daily. It was right after my mom passed away over 16 years ago. I remember the call from my father like it was yesterday. It was early morning and a loud ring echoed in the kitchen. I picked up the phone and heard my father’s shaky voice tell me that my mother had passed away. I dropped to my knees and sobbed. I would sob for another hour before leaving to help make funeral arrangements.
For years, I had regular visits of grief. Some visits were expected like on birthdays and anniversaries. There were other visits that would surface without reason and I would become flooded with sadness.
What I have learned from grief is that when I am seen, heard, and valued, I am able to move the sorrow into something more meaningful. I experienced this after the death of my mom when I moved beyond my own heart and was able to see, hear, and be with the suffering of others. Moving beyond my own grief and connecting with global grief taught me how to show up with love. Ten years ago I was able take my personal grief and connect it with the hearts of others through Toning the OM™, a global healing community that centers on peace and wholeheartedness. I was able to transform my deepest grief into a universal place of healing and connection.
Grief revisited again after the election last week. Every cell in my body filled with grief. My grief wasn’t just about an election; it was about the loss of human decency. I was horrified at the scenes of hatred that filled my screen daily. I was saddened to see how people were normalizing actions and speech that were/are harmful and dangerous. I was reminded of years of hate that I experienced throughout my life as a gay woman – having both verbal slurs and physical objects thrown at me. I know what it feels like to feel unsafe and to have to consciously choose where I go or where I travel so I am not physically harmed.
I know what feels like to be silenced, shamed, and despised. This election opened up wounds of deep shame and pain for many of us. And the election outcome celebrated the suffering of others. When we celebrate the pain of others, we lose our capacity to have empathy for one another.
Sixteen years ago, my grief was internal and silent. Now, my grief has a voice and a place. This grief is bigger than me. I meet this grief and I know it is time to rise, to cry, to speak, to hug, to reach out, to connect, to listen, to share, to create, and to lean in. When we take our personal grief and shift it into global healing – of ourselves, one another, and this sacred earth, we begin to shapeshift grief into inspiration – together. We must consciously choose wisdom and compassion over ignorance, even when that seems impossible.
Grief can call us into an experience of immediacy – of what’s needed now. It teaches us how to be present. It calls us to be present to our heart.
Welcome grief. Let grief be your teacher for however long you need it to be. Heavy hearts can be wonderful teachers of compassion. Grief revisited means opening to the suffering of all beings. Grief is a landscape that moves us from our own suffering into our relationship with all of humanity. As I continue to shed tears, I invite all of us to look for the spaces where global healing and connections are possible.
Grief revisted and I welcomed it home – to the heart of humanity.
This is dedicated to my mother who taught me to live a life of service to others. Also, to my spouse who sees, hears, and values me. To all those who are experiencing grief, I see you, I hear you, and I love you.
Coming Home
Monday, November 14th, 2016
Coming home to my heart, asking now what?
Coming home to my mind, asking now what?
Coming home to my body, asking now what?
Coming home to my faith, asking now what?
Coming home to service to others, asking now what?
Coming home to this sacred Earth, asking now what?
Reflecting. Pausing. Listening. Learning. Opening. Receiving. Giving.
Coming Home. Now what?