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<Drums Rattle Djembe Doumbek>

Flickering Light and Holy Darkness

April 28th, 2023

Our light goes in and out.
We find ourselves again
and again.

And we lose ourselves again and again.

Sometimes we need the darkness to find our light.

Our light dims and love helps us find it.

Our light shines bright, and love shows us how to share it.

Our light glows and other people notice it.

We sometimes see the light in others before we see our own light. We shine and celebrate the light in others.

Oh, and their light flickers too.

May we find our inner sun that is always shining light.

May we remember that light emerges from the darkness.
And that the most holy darkness is the deepest darkness.

Let our flickering light and holy darkness be our teachers.

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Posted in Toning the OM | Toning the Om

Returning to Meditation. Again.

January 25th, 2023

In 2012 I downloaded an app called Insight Timer. I set up a daily timer for about ten minutes to an hour to meditate daily. After using it for a couple of years, I set up my own quiet daily practice of meditation. I forgot about the app and eventually deleted it as I wanted less time being on my phone.

For over 20 years I have facilitated and led meditation retreats and have taught people various meditation practices (hoping to do more of those again soon!).

My daily routine even included getting to my office early so I had time to sit and meditate. I also prefer quiet mornings and easing into my day. I was even able to meditate on the subway!

Then COVID-19 happened. My meditation practice came to a screeching halt. Almost all of my daily or weekly practices stopped. I couldn’t meditate, read, or journal. I gave myself permission to be in this place. Although I didn’t think it would take 2+ years to come out of it.

I discovered that my daily walks became a meditation practice. And the more I walked, the more I noticed everything. I noticed more colors, more trees, more birds, more nature, and more beauty. But something was still missing. I wanted to get back to my meditation—even if it meant starting over with two to five minutes of daily meditation. I downloaded the Insight Timer app again. Sitting quietly, I began to listen to guided meditations. It was as if I never left. My body was able to relax first for brief moments and then eventually for longer periods of time.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to let something go and have it return as something new. When meditation (or any practice) feels like a chore, pausing and waiting for it return in a new way can help. If you’re like me and have wanted to return to a mediation practice, feel free to start over, again.

And if you need support starting a meditation practice or growing your current one, please reach out to me.

Suggestions: for those looking for apps that support meditation, try Insight Timer, Ten Percent Happier, or Calm.

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Posted in Toning the OM | Toning the Om

The Light of Your Being – Winter Solstice

December 21st, 2022

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz

How will you celebrate the light in the darkness?

As we enter the winter season, it is time to go inward. The winter season allows us to align with a slower pace. In the depths of winter, when the bears hibernate, trees put their energy deep into their roots, and many of dive deeper into the dream world, it is natural time to retreat.

As we go inward, let us notice the beauty and tranquility of winter. Let us celebrate the light within that is always possible. Let us embrace the opportunity for deep rest and integration that winter provides.

How will you keep the candle lit inside yourself?

Celebrate the light of your own being!

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Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om

Change Is My New Frequency

December 5th, 2022

For years, daily routines have been my habit. This month, change is my new frequency. I am changing jobs, changing where I live, and changing how I spend my time. After living in the Northeast my whole life, I recently decided to move to Florida. And after spending my whole career in the not-for-profit arena, I am now focusing more on my coaching, meditation, and writing business practices. I also took time off to create space for these big life changes. I would love to say this was for a purposeful sabbatical, but in reality, it was more of a necessity for a move that included packed boxes, a car getting shipped, and time to set-up our condo.

All of these changes reminded me of my radio growing up where you had to get the station just right so there wouldn’t be any static. I would roll the dial slowly to try to get a station in tune. It was a feat to get a radio frequency that did not have any static. Often, when I did find the station, I would just leave it on the one I found so I wouldn’t have to get any more static–even if I didn’t like the music. Changing the dial meant moving through the static.

I noticed that’s what is happening now. I have moved the dial on my inner radio station. I am going through the stations to get past the static until a station is clear and in tune. And as I have made these many big changes, there has been a lot of static! Yet, change is my new frequency. I am not sure what station or how many will come into focus, but I am open to listening to lots of stations. There is much to learn from static, the in-between stations, and the various music found in everything.

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Posted in Storytelling | Toning the Om

The Great Pause

May 9th, 2022

This time has been called “The Great Resignation.” But what if we called it, “The Great Pause.” I have given a lot of thought to long pauses and the impact of slowing down and noticing what happens in the long pauses. There was a time I wrote daily and perhaps I will get back to that routine, but lately words escape me and I have had to befriend the blank page. There is so much noise, so much shouting, so many words, that it often makes me become more still and quiet. My practice has been to listen to the silence between the words and noise. What is in that space? 

Natalie Goldberg wrote, “Sometimes when you think you are done, it is just edge of beginning. Probably that’s why we decide we’re done. It’s getting to scary. We are touching down onto something real.”

I am at the edge of beginning. And rather than rush it and resign, I need to pause and listen.

How about you? Are you experiencing the great pause? Are you on the edge of a (new) beginning?

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Posted in Vulnerability | Toning the Om

Toning the OM Receives 2021 Best of Bronx Award!

September 17th, 2021

Toning the OM has been selected as the Winner for the 2021 Best of Bronx Awards in the category of Local Business! 

Each year, in and around the Bronx area, the Bronx Award Program chooses only the best local businesses. They focus on companies that have demonstrated their ability to use various marketing methods to grow their business in spite of difficult economic times. The companies chosen exemplify the best of small business; often leading through customer service and community involvement.

For most companies, this recognition is a result of their dedication and efforts as well as the work put into building the business. Toning the OM is now a part of an exclusive group of small businesses that have achieved this selection.

The Bronx Award Program was created to honor and generate public recognition of the achievements and positive contributions of businesses and organizations in and around Bronx. Their mission is to raise the profile of exemplary companies and entrepreneurs among the press, the business community, and the general public.

Thank to everyone who has supported Toning the OM through the years–whether you have attended a workshop, sacred circle, retreat, coaching or meditation session. And am also grateful to everyone that has shown support and love by sharing and promoting Toning the OM and sent encouraging words. 

Most of all, am grateful to my parents who taught me the value and meaning of service. All that I do and all that I share is in their memory–as I know they are always watching over me.

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Posted in Toning the OM | Toning the Om

Pause

August 10th, 2021

When I can’t find the words to say or write, I look in nature. 
When life seems overwhelming,
I pause.
When I need to understand, I take photos. 

I find meaning in images.
I find connection in nature.
And I find peace in the stillness.

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Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om

Hopeful

March 25th, 2021

I have been thinking about hope the past few weeks. Perhaps it is the new season of Spring and watching the flowers burst through the earth. Perhaps it is because I have been watching the birds return to the cherry trees out side my window. Perhaps it is the light that lasts longer each night. Perhaps it is knowing that family and friends are getting vaccinated and I too will soon get the vaccine. Perhaps it is because I feel like making plans of things to do or places to go for the first time in 12 months.

Or perhaps I have been meditating on hope because it is the season of renewal, miracles, and the Easter season of resurrection and new life. Perhaps it is just my faith reminding me that hope returns (or perhaps never left) that I am given constant reminders of hope in nature. All I know is that any time I have been asked how I am dong the past few weeks, the only word that comes out of my mouth is “hopeful.” I am hopeful of new beginnings and of miracles. I am hopeful that I can live more fully out (especially after a year of having to live fully in). I am hopeful that I can soon see people and hug my family. I am hopeful that so much goodness is waiting for me — us — you. 

Even with so much still unknown and a year that will bring a lot of change, I still feel hopeful. And of course that doesn’t mean I don’t get scared or cranky or worried. I am hopeful that my voice will return and my writings will be expressed. I am hopeful that I can be quiet and still. I am hopeful that my inner compass will show me the way and love will lead me home. 

And I am choosing to be hopeful. It’s a daily practice — and some days I am better at it than others.

My faith reminds me this time of year that from the darkness comes the light. Without the dark earth, flowers would not bloom. And so I too am rising from the dark earth with new life, new blooms, and new eyes. What are you unearthing? What is blooming inside of you? What has been waiting to bloom inside of you?

 

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Posted in Gratitude | Toning the Om

Embracing the Quiet

February 17th, 2021

I have come to terms with doing less and being more. I have written so many things in my head that have not made their way to the page. I have come to terms with spending the past year being in the moment. While I have appreciated seeing or reading about many people being so productive this past year (learning a new skill or cleaning out rooms or closets), I have spent the last 12 months listening and tending to myself.

Instead of keeping busy, I have been quiet. With less meetings, events, baseball games, nights out, vacations, or people to get together with, my schedule became empty—and I chose to not fill it. Rather, I studied the birds out my window. And watched the starlings leave the pine tree when it became invaded by grackles. I watched the cherry trees bloom from the bare branches to large pink flowers. I marveled at the squirrels leaping from tree to tree as the great chase became a daily comedy show. I lingered with my morning coffee enjoying the ever-changing sky. Unable to read novels most of last year, I found myself downloading podcasts and binge-watching television shows. At first, I felt guilty about my inability to read, write, or facilitate (on-line) workshops. And I made the mistake of comparing myself to other people who seemed to be doing so much. Yet, friends shared that they felt just as alone and scared during this time.

I was feeling so much grief about losing people I knew to the virus, working alone in my dining room for hours, staying inside, and the loss of not seeing family and friends. In The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Wheeler writes, “Grief also reveals the undeniably reality of our bond with the world…We need grief in order to heal these traumas and make sense of a world turned upside.”

I needed grief to show me the way out and show the way in. I needed this quiet time to connect me to grace and God. And I needed to embrace the quiet within myself. Am not sure what this time will mean to me years from now or what lessons it will have given me. But I know that I have appreciated the small things, like long walks, songbirds, books, my sister’s homemade meals, and the need to not rush anywhere. For now, the quiet feels like a homecoming. And for today, I am embracing the quiet.

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Posted in Life | Toning the Om

Savoring the Light That Seeks Me

November 2nd, 2020

Each morning, I have a series of rituals. While my morning rituals often include making a pot of coffee and putting on my diffuser, it also includes looking out the window. I look at the trees right outside my apartment and notice the light. I notice the mornings that the sunlight bounces off the trees. I look at the cherry trees, the pines, the maple trees and savor the moments of morning light.

In the afternoons, I take walks in my neighborhood. One of the gifts of working from home is being able to notice all the flowers that have come and gone since March. I do not think I have ever noticed flowers as much as I have this year. As I photograph the various flowers, I often capture the light on the flowers.

As evening sets, I am often at the end of my street, capturing the colors of the sunset. As I pause to look at the sky, the flowers, and the sunset, I realize that I am often seeking light. And then I discover that through it all, it is the light that seeks me.

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Posted in Toning the OM | Toning the Om