August 11th, 2011
I wrote a blog post about reading a book while on vacation about a writer, speaker, and therapist who was “seeking peace.” The author needed to take time to find meaning again and take time out from everything in her life. I resonated with the book because I too was seeking peace. I was feeling burnt out at work, in my business, and living in the Bronx. I wanted respite and peace. I knew that six days in the mountains would provide me with the quiet space I needed to replenish. My partner and I spent days going for walks, swimming in local lakes and creeks, reading, and journaling.
We had planned to spend the second part of our vacation in Atlantic City. While a stark contrast from the quiet peaceful mountain views, we had tickets to go see Melissa Etheridge in concert. Plus, a few days on the beach and swimming in the ocean seemed like a relaxing way to spend a few days.
So, after we completed the first part of the vacation, we repacked the car for Atlantic City. We started driving and as we got onto the New Jersey Turnpike, I plugged in my iPhone to listen to music in the car. As soon as I heard the music, I turned to my partner and said, “I forgot the tickets.” Then I began crying. (If you have ever driven on I95 in the Bronx, you would understand.) My partner said we will turn around and get them. I said I felt terrible and the tears kept coming. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Was it because it would add at least two more hours of commuting and crossing the George Washington Bridge again? Was it because I pride myself on being organized and felt like I failed? Was it because I just wanted to get out of the city and be on the beach? I think it was all of it. My partner was calm and wanted to make the best of the situation. She suggested buying lunch at our local diner and was very encouraging the whole ride back to the Bronx.
It all worked out perfect. We had lunch, drove to Atlantic City, saw an amazing show, and spent two days on the beach. Here I was seeking peace and by the end of vacation I was finding love – again. I realized the peace I was seeking was within and that I needed to be reminded of that.
It’s easy to find peace in the quiet uninterrupted moments. Seeking peace in the chaotic forgetful moments is where the work comes in. And finding love is a gift better than any concert in the world.
May we always seek peace and find love.
Mary Anne
This is dedicated to my partner, Lorene, who reminded me just how easy it is to be peace & love. I am very grateful.
Posted in Storytelling | 1 Comment »
August 10th, 2011
While spending some quiet time in the Catskill Mountains last week, I had the opportunity to read Mary Pipher’s book, Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World. After becoming a bestselling author and speaker, Mary Pipher sought out inner quiet and peace. It’s a book about her journey home within. With all her great success, she realized she was unhappy and anxious. Pipher sought a journey of self-reflection and meditation in order to create a more fulfilling and joyful life. She is honest about her struggle with depression and despair. Pipher writes, “I suspect most of us feel as if our lives are both pedestrian and momentous. We all experience ourselves as exceptional and ordinary. Within us, we host libraries of narratives and experiences. And yet we are aware that we share a great deal of emotional terrain with everyone we meet.”
We all experience peaks and valleys. They make up who we are. What we do with them and how we respond to them ultimately becomes the story we tell ourselves and others. As Pipher says, “For their own reasons, many people politely fall apart at some point in their lives. How they regroup and move on determines what their future will be.”
In this moment, we are both (extra)ordinary and exceptional. In every moment, we are love. When we forget, all we need to do is breathe. Breathe ourselves back to self-love. Follow your breath and let it lead you – home to yourself.
If you really listen, you can hear the universe singing to you…you are loved. And so you are.
Mary Anne
Posted in Life | Toning the Om
August 8th, 2011
Atlantic City
Boardwalks full of slot machines
With visions of gold
Beach stores and much more
Carts pushing people through crowds
Fried foods fill the air
Atlantic seashore
High tide ocean waves crashing
People look for shade
Local bands play on
Nightlife of casino bets
Atlantic City
{I wrote this while coming home from Atlantic City. I had fun writing Haiku poems while taking some time off to read and write and play. Give it a try: 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables. Go!}
Posted in Fun | Toning the Om
August 3rd, 2011
Summer vacations
When I was a little girl
Spent in the mountains
Loud Irish music
Blaring tunes till the wee hours
And last call for drinks
One sister sang songs
And one an accordion
For our proud parents
All while I sulked
Drinking a Shirley Temple
From smoky tables
Mary Anne
Posted in Happiness | Toning the Om
August 2nd, 2011
Every cup of tea is meditation.
Every walk is meditation.
Every ocean wave is meditation.
Every cloud is meditation.
Every laugh is meditation.
Every conversation is meditation.
Every whisper of wind is meditation.
Every smile is meditation.
Every tear is meditation.
Every breath is meditation.
Mary Anne
Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om
July 28th, 2011
Have you ever heard the song Amazing Grace played on the bagpipes? No matter where I am or what I am doing, if I hear that song, I stop, and cry. Amazing Grace always makes me cry. The words seem so tender and when you add bagpipes, the sound goes right in. I have heard it played at many funerals, including my mother’s.
I haven’t really thought about the song in years. Then as I was walking to the subway this morning in the Bronx, I heard Amazing Grace being played on the bagpipes. The bagpipes stood out as it was 7:30 in the morning and a quiet, “suburban” section of the Bronx. I stopped to try to find where it was playing from, but the song just echoed around me. I watched as people kept walking and rushing to the subway. Did other people hear the bagpipes too and were ignoring it?
I stopped to listen to the beautiful bagpipes blaring, tears and all. I could hear the words:
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
Maybe the song doesn’t have to just be a memory of funerals. Maybe the song can be a reminder of life, of grace, and of sweet mornings. Maybe Amazing Grace is always around me and I just need to be reminded to listen to it more.
What is your “Amazing Grace?”
Mary Anne
Posted in Storytelling | 3 Comments »
July 26th, 2011
If only you knew how magical you are.
If only you knew how beautiful you are.
If only you knew how radiant you are.
If only you knew how magnificent you are.
If only you knew how creative you are.
If only you knew how joyful you are.
If only you knew how peaceful you are.
If only you knew how playful you are.
If only you knew how blessed you are.
If you only knew how supported you are.
If only you knew how powerful you are.
If only you knew how embraced you are.
If only you knew how loved you are.
Breathe in your magical, beautiful, radiant, magnificent, creative, joyful, peaceful, playful, blessed, supported, powerful, embraced, and loved SELF. You are all of this and much more – always and in all ways.
Mary Anne
Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om
July 21st, 2011
I picked up a copy of Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. I am often hesitant to pick up writing books because I am afraid they will be telling me all the things I am doing wrong as a writer. As I opened to the preface, I read, “Writing is a path to meet ourselves and become intimate.” The words went right (and write) in. The next thing I knew, I was highlighting page after page and phrase after phrase. I was so lost in the book, I even missed my train stop coming into work. I found myself smiling, underlining paragraphs, breathing slower, and grabbing pen and paper to jot some writing ideas down.
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to write a book. Could I really write “the Great American Novel?” In many ways, I already have. I have published three years worth of blog posts that include stories, poems, antidotes, and meditations. It is my great American novel. I just keep writing, even when it sounds like gibberish. I have come to discover that it is the processes and the practices that have been the real jewels in my life.
As Goldman says, “Some days you don’t want to run and you resist every step of the three miles, but you do it anyway. You practice whether you want to or not. You don’t wait around for inspiration and a deep desire to run.” Do it anyway. And keep doing it.
It’s time to color outside the lines and write beyond the page margins. It takes practice. It takes trusting the voice inside. It takes giving ourselves permission and space to create. It takes embracing all that is around us. Anything we take deep enough will take us to the very place we are longing to go and grow.
What is your Great American Novel that is bursting to come forth? As Goldberg says, “Once you connect with your mind, you are who you are and you’re free.”
Keep going, creating, and drafting-
Mary Anne
Posted in Learning | 2 Comments »
July 20th, 2011
I found a Metrocard in my wallet last week and swiped it to see how much money was on it. The machine read, “Please see an attendant.” I walked over and asked the MTA attendant if she could check how much was on my card. After she swiped it and checked her computer she said, “Ma’am, this was a 30 day unlimited card that expired in January.” I thanked the lady and walked away with my expired card. After discarding it in the recycling bin, I realized that I had been carrying around an expired card for over six months.
Later, I decided to look through the rest of my wallet for other expired or outdated cards. As I finished reorganizing my wallet, I decided to check what else in my house had expired and could be thrown out. As I sat down feeling proud of getting rid of unnecessary items, I decided to check inside and see if anything within could be discarded. What else has expired in my life? Were there any thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that have expired that I am still carrying around? Could I let go of my disappointment and frustration? Am I carrying around anger that expired last month?
I invite you to check in and see if there is anything you are carrying (inside and out) that has expired. What has expired that is still living inside you?
Start with today. What are you still carrying around that you are willing to let go?
It’s time for a new 30-day pass.
Mary Anne
Posted in Storytelling | Toning the Om
July 19th, 2011
my mind is clear as water –
so peaceful, nothing troubles me.
such is the state of leaving
the self and all things behind.
i pour myself a cup of tea
and drink; it is sweet indeed.
~korean tea poem – 15th century
When you don’t know what to do, have a cup of tea.
Mary Anne
Posted in Life | Toning the Om
I wrote a blog post about reading a book while on vacation about a writer, speaker, and therapist who was “seeking peace.” The author needed to take time to find meaning again and take time out from everything in her life. I resonated with the book because I too was seeking peace. I was feeling burnt out at work, in my business, and living in the Bronx. I wanted respite and peace. I knew that six days in the mountains would provide me with the quiet space I needed to replenish. My partner and I spent days going for walks, swimming in local lakes and creeks, reading, and journaling.
