Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
Our Greatest App – Humanity
Tuesday, August 30th, 2011
In the midst of all the chaos and recovery from the recent hurricane, I thought about how we all needed one another to get through the storm. I realized that despite our advances in technology, what really served us was our humanity. I was reminded how someone like Steve Jobs, who recently stepped down as CEO from Apple, used his genius to better our lives and keep us connected. It seemed that through all his health issues, he has inspired others to create something wonderful. As his quotes below express, he wanted young people to live their dream and follow their heart. Create good for humanity. In the end, that really is the greatest ‘App’ we can download within and then go out and share with the world.
Steve Jobs in some speeches/talks he has given over the years:
“Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things. And the reason they were able to do that was that they’ve had more experiences or they have thought more about their experiences than other people.”
“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” [Stanford commencement speech, June 2005]
Peace, Mary Anne
Storms Passing Through…
Monday, August 29th, 2011
The wind shows us how close to the edge we are. ~Joan Didion
As Hurricane Irene made her way up along the eastern coast, I, like many others, prepared for the worst. I evacuated my home, made an emergency bag for myself and my partner, filled the car with food and water, and stayed with family in New Jersey. As I tossed and turned on an air mattress on Saturday night, I listened to the wind and rain pound against the windows. I prayed that all the glass would stay intact and we would get through the storm with minimal damage. When I awoke the next morning, I watched reports of massive floods, downed trees, damaged homes, and people stranded. While the news report expressed much relief that New York City was spared, many places were not. There were entire towns that were without power and completely under water, including many parts of upstate New York (in particular, the Catskills region), many towns in New Jersey, Vermont, and many more. As wind and rain swept through so many places, I felt ‘flooded’ with many emotions — relief, sadness, exhaustion, and gratitude.
When I looked up at the clear blue sky this morning, it looked as if nothing had ever happened. Then I looked down and saw all the broken trees and debris. I meditated on storms passing through. I wrote some thoughts from my meditation about lessons of storms passing through:
~nature will always have it’s say; it’s up to us what we are willing to hear
~in the end, life is about feeling vulnerable with ourselves and one another
~staying connected is something I value
~listening to wind without fear can bring me closer to God (spirit etc…)
~getting ‘submerged’ in fear is as easy as getting ‘submerged’ in water
~asking for help makes life easier
~trust that nature will care for itself through cracking, shaking, and washing
~time heals pain and remembering good memories brings comfort
~everything flows — in its own time
What lessons have you learned from the various storms in your life?
Peace,
Mary Anne
As Above, So Below – the Earth Shakes
Wednesday, August 24th, 2011
As the earth shook yesterday after an earthquake, the responses were varied. Here in New York City, seeing streams of people on the sidewalks and streets brought back conversations and memories of 9/11. After finding the whereabouts of their loved ones, the conversation shifted to the earthquake itself. People wanted to connect and see what others had felt and where they were when it happened. This seemed to bring comfort to the people evacuated from their offices.
I was fascinated by two polar opposite responses: “I felt everything move in my office and I knew something was wrong” and “I didn’t feel anything at all.” As ‘normalcy’ returned to workplaces, there was a sense of fear about an earthquake happening in the east coast. People seemed surprised that the earth shook.
As I listened to various conversations about the earthquake, I realized how uncomfortable people felt with the earth rumbling. I had the thought that it was ironic that Washington DC was rattled by a quake given the current political atmosphere. Maybe we need shaking up from time to time.
The earth moves every day, but we are not as aware or attuned to it. What will this earthquake teach us? What else needs a little more movement in our lives?
As the writer Dominique Browning says about life, “It never gets easy. But if we are paying attention, it can get simpler.”
The earth will shake again. Are we willing to pay attention to what the earth is saying to us and what we are saying to the earth?
Peace,
Mary Anne
Seeking Peace – Finding Love
Wednesday, August 10th, 2011
While spending some quiet time in the Catskill Mountains last week, I had the opportunity to read Mary Pipher’s book, Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World. After becoming a bestselling author and speaker, Mary Pipher sought out inner quiet and peace. It’s a book about her journey home within. With all her great success, she realized she was unhappy and anxious. Pipher sought a journey of self-reflection and meditation in order to create a more fulfilling and joyful life. She is honest about her struggle with depression and despair. Pipher writes, “I suspect most of us feel as if our lives are both pedestrian and momentous. We all experience ourselves as exceptional and ordinary. Within us, we host libraries of narratives and experiences. And yet we are aware that we share a great deal of emotional terrain with everyone we meet.”
We all experience peaks and valleys. They make up who we are. What we do with them and how we respond to them ultimately becomes the story we tell ourselves and others. As Pipher says, “For their own reasons, many people politely fall apart at some point in their lives. How they regroup and move on determines what their future will be.”
In this moment, we are both (extra)ordinary and exceptional. In every moment, we are love. When we forget, all we need to do is breathe. Breathe ourselves back to self-love. Follow your breath and let it lead you – home to yourself.
If you really listen, you can hear the universe singing to you…you are loved. And so you are.
Mary Anne
When You Don’t Know What to Do, Have a Cup of Tea
Tuesday, July 19th, 2011
my mind is clear as water –
so peaceful, nothing troubles me.
such is the state of leaving
the self and all things behind.
i pour myself a cup of tea
and drink; it is sweet indeed.
~korean tea poem – 15th century
When you don’t know what to do, have a cup of tea.
Mary Anne
Listening to Our Fear
Wednesday, July 13th, 2011
Seth Godin had a fantastic post this week about fear. He writes about the two problems with waiting for fear to subside: 1. By the time you wait for fear to subside, it will be too late and someone else will do that which you were too afraid to do. 2. Fearless doesn’t always make things happen. Sometime a little fear can be the very thing you need to guide you. As Godin says, “The fear can be your compass; it can set you on the right path and actually improve the quality of what you do. Listen to your fear but don’t obey it.”
What are your fears saying to you? What is keeping you up at night that you can make happen, even with a nudge from fear?
Listen to your fear and move past the doubts into actions of your heart. Do it afraid. Do it anyway.
You are fully supported, always.
Mary Anne
My Normal Heart and Marriage Equality
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011
I was obsessed last week listening to the live feed of the New York State Senate as they spent days passing various Bills. I anxiously waited to hear if the Senate would bring the Marriage Equality Act to the floor for a vote. Late Friday, I read Facebook posts and tweets that there would indeed be a vote and the Marriage Equality Act was likely to pass. The vote was going to take place while I was sitting in a Broadway show, The Normal Heart.
The Normal Heart is mostly an autobiographical play by Larry Kramer. It focuses on the early years of the AIDS crisis in New York City from 1981 through 1984, as seen through the eyes of writer/activist Ned Weeks, the gay founder of a major AIDS advocacy group. Ned prefers loud, often angry, public confrontations to the calmer, more private strategies favored by his friends and closeted lover, Felix Turner. Towards the end of the play, there is a poignant scene where the doctor, Emma Brookner, who was a strong advocate for medical research and public awareness, marries Ned Weeks and the dying Felix Turner in the hospital.
While I was watching the scene of Ned and Felix exchanging vows, the New York State Senate had passed the Marriage Equality Act in Albany. A few moments later the play ended and the producer came out on center stage to thank the audience for coming. He went on to say, “And I would like to thank everyone for turning their cell phones off during the performance and as you turn them back on, you will find out that the Marriage Equality Act was just passed.” The audience erupted with shouts and some were overcome with tears. The applause was deafening and as confused tourists were asking those around them what had happened, folks from around the country celebrated this historic moment.
I couldn’t get over how this life-changing experience was happening as I was sitting in the play, The Normal Heart – during a scene of two gay men exchanging vows in a hospital. As I stood applauding, shouting, and crying, I felt an overwhelming feeling of awe and gratitude. It was the 17th anniversary from the day I met my life partner and after all this time, our love and right to be married felt acknowledged and accepted.
I walked out of the play, my eyes swollen with tears, and turned to my partner and said, “My normal heart and marriage equality. I love you.”
Thank you Governor Cuomo, the New York State Senate, and to the four Republican Senators for your courage to honor love and equality – and for passing the Marriage Equality Act!
Mary Anne
A Mother’s Love for Her Gay Daughter
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011
After listening to the recent heated debate of whether or not to allow the Marriage Equality Act to come to the New York Senate floor for a vote, I started thinking about how acceptance is easy if we allow it. This sparked a long-ago memory of how my mom came to accept my sexuality. [While this story may not be verbatim, the essence of it is absolutely true.]
My mom was quite distraught (along with other family and friends) about my coming out back in 1996. She was devastated and decided to speak with our local Catholic Pastor, Fr. Davis, whom she had known for a long time. My mom explained just how upset, disappointed, and even scared she was that she had a gay daughter.
The Pastor asked three questions:
“Do you love your daughter?” My mother said of course she loved her daughter.
“Is she kind?” My mother said her daughter was kind and generous and very giving.
“Is she living the Gospel and doing the work of Jesus in the Bronx?” My mother said I was caring for children in the South Bronx and was doing service for others just as Jesus had.
Fr. Davis then asked my mother if anything else mattered other than love and living the Gospels.
Soon after that meeting, my mother called to invite my partner (whom earlier was not allowed to come over) and me to the house for dinner. My mother and father quickly came to love and accept my partner as a part of my life.
Yes, acceptance is that easy if we allow it.
Mary Anne
This is dedicated to my mom who had the courage to question her beliefs and to Fr. Davis – both of whom are now in heaven still telling stories.
From Praying to Staying Gay
Monday, June 20th, 2011
It’s been more than 15 years since I came out to my family and friends. I had no idea how my family or friends would respond to me telling them I was gay. I just knew I didn’t want to hide anymore and it was too painful to hold in my true self. I was living with so much fear back then – the fear of being ‘disowned’ by my family and being shunned by my friends; the fear of feeling (more) isolated; even the fear of being hated by my God.
I remember many conversations with God – ones that included a bargaining and a begging to please not make me gay in high school. I thought God, family, and friends would be disappointed and make me feel like an outcast. I believed those thoughts so strongly I spent my high school years feeling depressed. I made myself an outcast to myself. I told myself I was unworthy and believed that too.
So, I understand people when they say hateful things about gays and believe them – I believed those thoughts too and found ways to make it true 20 years ago. The mind will find proof with thoughts we put out into the world. If you tell yourself you are unworthy, you will find all the ways this is true and the mind will confirm it. And if you tell yourself you are a loving being of God, the mind will find proof for that too. As Byron Katie says, “The mind’s job is to validate what it thinks.”
Today, I choose thoughts of love and watch how love flows into my life. I am blessed to have a life-partner for 17 years. And the love from my family and friends is beyond words. All of this has only brought forth more love and acceptance. It started with me loving myself. My fearful thoughts led me to pray not to be gay. My loving thoughts allow me to be grateful to be gay and for all the expansive love.
Gratefully,
Mary Anne
This is dedicated to all those who are scared to come out and the NY State Senate to put forth a vote in favor of the Marriage Equality Act.
Are You Waiting?
Friday, June 17th, 2011
And are you waiting, awaiting the one thing,
that increases your life infinitely,
the powerful, the enormous,
the awakening of the stones,
depths, turned torward you.
Rainer Maria Rilke, poet (1875-1926)
Are you still waiting?
Mary Anne