Posts Tagged ‘Vulnerability’
Am I Brave Enough to Be Me?
Saturday, September 3rd, 2016
I am sitting on a cabin step in upstate New York with a woman from Vermont who I met less than 48 hours ago. We are both participants in the Camp Good Life Project (Camp GLP). It’s my third year at this summer camp for creative souls, entrepreneurs, and change-makers. It’s a weekend of wisdom, deep learning, creating, playing (color wars + dance parties), meditation, yoga classes, and an outrageous talent show. More than that, it’s a weekend of deep connections, soulful humanness, and joyful play.
As we sit eating our veggie pizza, we laugh about our experiences from the weekend. We talk about how we have witnessed being vulnerable, feeling safe, being connected to our core values, playing our hearts out, and experiencing deep love without judgment. When asked what her biggest lesson of the weekend has been, she looks me in the eye and says she is leaving with the question, “Am I brave enough to be me?” I exhale. My eyes fill with tears. Her eyes fill with tears. We just sit together and listen to the question without rushing to any outcome or answer.
The question of being brave enough to be me has been part of my meditation since leaving camp. Am I brave enough to be me? For three days at camp, the answer was a resounding yes. I felt brave enough to hug friends and strangers, to (belly) laugh, to cry with people I met for the first time, to dance and sing, to drum publicly at a bonfire, to make my own mala (prayer beads), to nap under a tree, to take long quiet walks, to watch birds and share the joy of it with campers, to listen and bear witness to stories about longing or grief or dreams, and to share my deep passions and fears.
The world has too much fear spreading and camp is a reminder that something else works – bravery. The kind of bravery that asks people to be themselves, to show up fully, and to tune into their heart and live from that place.
It takes great bravery to:
- Share about living each day petrified because you are waiting for a heart-transplant
- Tear up as you tell the story of your spouse who has a chronic illness
- Reveal about the infant you and your husband are waiting to adopt any day and the excitement you feel as a gay man becoming a father
- Dance on stage for the first time in front of 380+ people
- Design a company only to experience massive debt
- Tell a room full of people that you had to rewrite your book from scratch three times before it was published
What all of these (and the many more) moments of bravery exemplified is the ability to fully show up – as is – just the way we are. It was the experience of being able to laugh and cry in the exact same breath. We can be brave and doing it afraid in the exact same moment. And we can do it together. This is what it means to connect deeply, live soulfully, and play joyfully.
Am I brave enough to be me? I take another exhale. I share with my new friend, “I needed a detox from snarkiness and cynicism.” It’s easy to be a critic; the real work is showing up and doing it afraid. Brave enough to me means fully living my values of generosity, connection, vulnerability, creativity, and spirituality.
And you? What comes up when you hear the question: Am I brave enough to be me?
This is dedicated to Jonathan and Stephanie Fields, the Camp GLP team and volunteers, all the campers and everyone living bravely.
2013 Lessons of the Heart
Tuesday, December 31st, 2013
Back in January, I declared 2013 to be the year of “Daring Deeply.” In my post back in January 2013, I wrote:
My focus in 2013 will be about taking chances on outrageous (and unknown) invitations for new workshops and retreats and daring myself to put my heart-centered work out into the world in greater ways. My purpose is to dig deeper inside my heart so that I can take peaceful actions and dare greatly into vulnerability.
As I reflect back on 2013, I realize how much I have dared greatly. My year started with going through many medical tests and receiving a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. That certainly taught me how to dare deeply physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Daring deeply required me to slow down and create more meditative practices. It taught me to advocate for myself. It invited me to live with vulnerability and wholeheartedness. It taught me to ask for help and receive. I am grateful for every lesson, every journey of my heart, every tear, every smile, every friendship, every laughter, and every moment that brought me closer to my wild cosmic heart.
2013 was a year to go inside more and live from my heart space. I stepped away from a long-time successful shamanic teaching practice. When I gave myself the space to let go, I discovered profound practices of the heart.
The biggest gift of 2013 was allowing serendipity to replace certainty.
I dared greatly and returned to Hawaii to facilitate an annual wild cosmic heart retreat. I met a group of amazing, courageous, and loving women who opened their hearts and trusted the sacred space we created. The group dared greatly too. And I was deeply honored to share the week with my sister, Mary Ann.
Thank you to everyone who shared themselves with me on my journey – whether you know it or not, you made a difference in my life. Everything became my teacher this year from my month long sabbatical, to birding, to the Pacific Ocean, to a new health condition, to new friendships and spiritual teachers, to Kadampa Meditation Center.
My willingness to put my heart-centered work out into the world opened up possibilities to teach in 2014 and beyond, including Hawaii, Colorado, the Virgin Islands, Canada, and even Cambodia.
It certainly was a year of Daring Deeply! Thank you for sharing it with me. I look forward to sharing more heart centered journeys together in 2014.
A Wholehearted Journey to Hawaii
Friday, November 1st, 2013
How do we return to our wild, untamed selves?
How can we slow down long enough to listen to our own heart?
How do we open up to vulnerability and trust we are always enough?
How can we give ourselves permission to be silly, to not know, to let our heart teach us, and to be ourselves without editing?
These are just some of the questions I will take a deep dive into during the upcoming Wild Cosmic Heart Retreat in Hawaii at Kalani Oceanside, November 3 – 9, 2013. I am thrilled to be joined by women all around the country and Canada who are willing to take dig deep inside their own wild cosmic heart.
Look for some great insights, stories, and photos when I return.
Until then, you are invited to ask yourself:
What is your heart saying now? And now? And now?
Keep asking. Keep listening. And enjoy every moment.
From my wild cosmic heart to yours…
At Home with My Emotions
Tuesday, June 4th, 2013
I’m hyper-sensitive. I have come to discover that means I am an empath.
I feel other peoples’ pain as if it were my own, even if I don’t know them. My face loses all color and I turn “sheet-white” if I watch something devastating or really sad. I cry easily at Hallmark shows, Maxwell House Coffee commercials, or even melancholy song lyrics.
I have known this for many years and have been made fun of for it. People would say, “You’re too sensitive” or “Lighten up.” For a long time, I thought that it was a bad thing until I realized my sensitivity made me a better listener and a better visionary.
It’s been a huge asset as an entrepreneur, writer, leader and artist. I relate to people in ways other people are not able to do so. I often understand what they seek and aspire to. I relate to their emotions. It lets me work with clients on more of an emotional level. I see past the facades and can speak to, create, and offer inspiration for what really matters.
Being an empath has allowed me to take a deeper dive inside my own heart as well as have in-depth conversations with those around me. I am able to question more, probe deeper, and create space for expansion.
It’s also been hugely beneficial in allowing me to connect when I teach, present, and facilitate. My empathetic ways allow me to feel my way through conversations on an intuitive level. It allows me to really “see” people for who they truly are.
Of course, it is not always easy. When someone else is in pain, it can be hard to distance myself from it. I tend to take on too much of what and who is around me. I want to help other people — at times to the detriment of myself.
So, how do I navigate in the world as an empath? I know I don’t want to go down the rabbit hole when I am feeling overwhelmed and I don’t want to push people away in order to not feel. I need to be able to engage and be present and let go in order to best serve.
For me, I do my best to balance the gifts of feeling deeply with the grace of letting go. I live with vulnerability and also have very clear boundaries.
I wouldn’t change being an empath for the world. I have come to accept that to feel is to be alive.
It’s the raw emotions that allow real meaning and connection to flow into creation and inspiration.
The challenge is to understand when to let it in and when to let go. And the challenge is also when to let in just enough to allow for deep connections, compassionate experiences and extraordinary creativity.
I’ve danced with this process of letting in and letting go for as long as I can remember. It has been a driving force for some intense journal writings, channeling messages, and connections with many mentors and spiritual teachers.
A few years ago when I started Toning the OM™, for an entirely different reason, I found something else that’s helps me process life as an empath — meditation and mindfulness.
It doesn’t mean I still don’t cry easily or close my eyes when something profound is happening. It means I can allow my emotions to flow rather than consume me. What it also does is allow me to understand when I’m being drawn in and then make a more conscious effort about whether I’m going to open to empathy or detach with love. And it reminds me to breathe and not get stuck in the shallowness within my own body.
Honestly, it is not easy and it takes work. There are days I am lousy at it. And I’m still learning just how important it is to stop and take slow, deep breaths. Having awareness of my breath and being mindful has made me more awake and alive in the world.
Being of service is an honor and privilege. Recognizing what emotions bring compassion and what emotions bring exhaustion have been part of my life-long journey. Identifying the waves of emotion as they rise, acknowledging them, and pausing to breathe has empowered me to lead and serve more humbly.
I’d love to know what your experiences have been with this.
What has your journey of the heart revealed about you?
Be in the Arena and Dare Greatly
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012
I came across the phrase Daring Greatly after listening to an interview about vulnerability with Brené Brown. The phrase comes from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, Citizenship in a Republic. This is the passage that made the speech famous:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly . . .”
When I read about daring greatly, I was blown away and began to ponder what vulnerability means to me. Vulnerability means getting into the arena, doing it afraid, doing it anyway – despite the critics. Unless you are in the arena in the world – in your work, your classroom, your stage, your art, your life – putting yourself out there, then your voice as a critic is meaningless. Being vulnerable means flopping and failing and rising up again and daring greatly.
I am discovering that the greatest act of courage is being seen – really being seen.
Dare to show up to life. Dare to be seen. Dare to be in the arena. Dare greatly.