Posts Tagged ‘Connect’
Embracing the Quiet
Wednesday, February 17th, 2021
I have come to terms with doing less and being more. I have written so many things in my head that have not made their way to the page. I have come to terms with spending the past year being in the moment. While I have appreciated seeing or reading about many people being so productive this past year (learning a new skill or cleaning out rooms or closets), I have spent the last 12 months listening and tending to myself.
Instead of keeping busy, I have been quiet. With less meetings, events, baseball games, nights out, vacations, or people to get together with, my schedule became empty—and I chose to not fill it. Rather, I studied the birds out my window. And watched the starlings leave the pine tree when it became invaded by grackles. I watched the cherry trees bloom from the bare branches to large pink flowers. I marveled at the squirrels leaping from tree to tree as the great chase became a daily comedy show. I lingered with my morning coffee enjoying the ever-changing sky. Unable to read novels most of last year, I found myself downloading podcasts and binge-watching television shows. At first, I felt guilty about my inability to read, write, or facilitate (on-line) workshops. And I made the mistake of comparing myself to other people who seemed to be doing so much. Yet, friends shared that they felt just as alone and scared during this time.
I was feeling so much grief about losing people I knew to the virus, working alone in my dining room for hours, staying inside, and the loss of not seeing family and friends. In The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Wheeler writes, “Grief also reveals the undeniably reality of our bond with the world…We need grief in order to heal these traumas and make sense of a world turned upside.”
I needed grief to show me the way out and show the way in. I needed this quiet time to connect me to grace and God. And I needed to embrace the quiet within myself. Am not sure what this time will mean to me years from now or what lessons it will have given me. But I know that I have appreciated the small things, like long walks, songbirds, books, my sister’s homemade meals, and the need to not rush anywhere. For now, the quiet feels like a homecoming. And for today, I am embracing the quiet.
Create Space for What You Love Doing
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010
Create space for what you LOVE to do, rather than fill space with what you are ‘comfortable’ doing.
I hope you have been able to spend time doing what you LOVE this summer. I decided to take a little more time off this summer from what was becoming a hectic schedule (that I created). I would often hear people “admire” me for my busy schedule, all the programs and workshops I gave, my growing business, all while working full-time. The truth is I became very “comfortable” filling my schedule. What I really needed to do was become comfortable being uncomfortable with less to do.
After emptying my calendar and saying “no” to a lot of invitations, I began to create space in my schedule. I was able to spend time seeing what it was I really LOVE to do. I didn’t need a sabbatical from work; I needed a sabbatical from myself! I spent a lot of time going to the beach, connecting with friends, taking long walks, and reading lots of good books. This gave me the respite I needed to relax. I spent many mornings and evenings sitting quietly, watching sunrises and sunsets, and listening to the birds sing. I came to a place where I finally acknowledged how much I love to write meditations, poetry, and blogs. The quieter I became, the more ideas for my business flowed effortlessly.
Create space for what you LOVE to do! How could being uncomfortable give you the space you need to show you what is you LOVE?
Mary Anne
Listening to My Father’s Wisdom
Monday, May 10th, 2010
Growing up, my father had many expressions: “Take your time, but don’t be long”; “You can always replace money, but you can’t replace a person”; “It takes a lot longer to fill out an accident report than it does to take your time on the road” and on and on. He also had his way of imparting values of how his daughters ought to be in the world. If I had to sum up the four cornerstones of how to live life through my father’s expressions, it would be this:
Tell the Truth.
It’s a lot easier to remember the truth and own up if you have done something. It’s a lot harder to remember the lies or stories and the truth always gets revealed.
Say Please/Thank You.
Manners say a lot about a person. There is such respect in an exchange that includes a please or thank you. In the end, people feel connected and want to help when they hear polite words.
Never Hate (Disliking Is OK).
You don’t have to like everybody, but hating serves no purpose and is only draining. Plus, the cost to hate is more hurtful to the one hating. Do we really need more enemies?
Quiet Please Rather Than Shut Up.
There is nothing worse than being stifled or put down. We can be kinder and gentler with one another. Asking for quiet brings peace back to us.
Think about the wisdom your family has shared with you and how it has shown up in your life and the values you teach others. I am grateful that my parents demonstrated generosity, service, and strong work values.
Thank you, Dad.
Mary Anne
The Power of Silence
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
George Prochnik wrote an editorial in the New York Times entitled Now Don’t Hear This. The editorial shared that last Wednesday was International Noise Awareness Day and that in New York a grass roots organization has been educating people about the harmful effects of noise for more than 15 years. The author said that perhaps it’s not noise awareness we need, but silence awareness. We already know the consequences of constant noise to our health – physically, emotionally and psychologically.
Rather than just talk about the negative effects of noise, we can spend time educating people on the positive effects of silence. Many meditation practitioners have shared that silent meditation increases their ability to concentrate. The editorial reveals that teachers who introduce silence into their classrooms said it fosters learning. And even hospitals that have “quiet zones” received validation in recent studies linking silence and healing.
What would happen if we would take time out in our day to be quiet? Perhaps we would discover more quiet within. We might even discover some powerful listening techniques we never had before. In a society filled with loud sounds of cars, sirens, planes or even the constant hum and buzz of computers, we could think about how to experience more silence. As Prochnik says, “Even a little bit of silence can create a sense of connection with our environment that diminishes alienation, and prompts a desire to discover more quiet.”
How do you want to create more silence in your life?
Here is to connecting through silence,
Mary Anne
“Turning to One Another”
Monday, April 26th, 2010
I just finished facilitating a weekend about energy healing, community building, and sacred ceremonies. Every six months, folks from all over the North East (and beyond) gather for a weekend to share in shamanic practices, mystical teachings, and fire ceremonies. As participants arrive on Friday, their anxiety is high and so too is their curiosity. By the end of the weekend, folks step into scared love and power in ways that are so full of liberation – singing songs and chants for all to share, playing drums, flutes, and rattles, sharing heart-centered struggles and insights, sitting on the grass and allowing the earth to teach them.
Throughout the weekend, the group turned to one another for support, for laughter, and for love. As I thought about how we turn to one another each day, I was reminded of the words of Margaret Wheatley.
Ask, “What’s Possible?” not “What’s wrong?” Keep asking.
Notice what you care about.
Assume that many others share your dreams.
Be intrigued by the differences you hear.
Expect to be surprised.
Treasure curiosity more than certainty.
Invite everyone who cares to work on what’s possible.
Acknowledge that everyone is expert on something.
Know that creative solutions come from new connections.
Remember, you don’t fear people whose story you know.
Real listening always brings us closer together.
Trust that meaningful conversations can change the world.
Rely on human goodness. Stay together.
(Turning to One Another, Margaret Wheatley)
Let’s keep turning to one another.
Mary Anne