July 14th, 2011
Last night at a healing circle I led, the focus was letting go. I asked the participants to think about what they wanted more of and to make room for it by letting go of something (or someone). I invited folks to release anything that was not serving them anymore and was only clutter in their life, their heart, or their mind. As I often do, I used a cup of tea as a metaphor. We can’t pour a cup of tea if it is already full of water. We need to empty our cups. And like a full tea cup, we need to empty our mind clutter and clean it out from time-to-time. By making space, we can experience more joy, more peace, more light, more laughter, more compassion, and more of what we really want.
This focus of letting go continued again this morning. I was on a Wake Up Meditation call with my friend, Joe Monkman. He asked us to focus on boundaries and limits. During the meditation he asked some questions about boundaries and letting go: Where can I loosen up myself? Where can I expand the limitations that I have imposed on myself? What do I need to let go of in order to expand my boundaries? Is there anything I need to let go of in order to loosen the boundaries a little bit?
I love when life is clear with where the focus ought to be. It’s as if Joe was reminding me that the lesson I was inviting others to notice was for me as well.
It’s time to let “it” go. It’s time to let “it” flow. Amen.
Mary Anne
Posted in Channeling | Toning the Om
July 13th, 2011
Seth Godin had a fantastic post this week about fear. He writes about the two problems with waiting for fear to subside: 1. By the time you wait for fear to subside, it will be too late and someone else will do that which you were too afraid to do. 2. Fearless doesn’t always make things happen. Sometime a little fear can be the very thing you need to guide you. As Godin says, “The fear can be your compass; it can set you on the right path and actually improve the quality of what you do. Listen to your fear but don’t obey it.”
What are your fears saying to you? What is keeping you up at night that you can make happen, even with a nudge from fear?
Listen to your fear and move past the doubts into actions of your heart. Do it afraid. Do it anyway.
You are fully supported, always.
Mary Anne
Posted in Life | Toning the Om
July 8th, 2011
I spent the holiday weekend reading Noah Levine’s new book, The Heart of the Revolution. It’s an incredible book about challenging ourselves to do the hard work of opening our minds and hearts to more compassion, more forgiveness, and more love. Levine refers to the spiritual 1%ers who are the ones willing to put in the effort of meditation and mindfulness. In one chapter, he uses a phrase cultivate the good. It became a mantra for the rest of the day and the weekend.
How do I cultivate the good? How can I cultivate more good? I sat in meditation and asked for a deeper understanding of cultivating the good. After 15 minutes, I wrote the following:
Cultivating the good starts with living your soul moments rather than your survival moments. It’s recognizing all the good in yourself and sharing it with the world. It’s stretching beyond all doubt and fear into the place of joy. You are bigger than any one moment. It’s releasing doubt. Anger is merely fear and fear is merely doubt. When did you stop believing love? Take a deeper look inside. What is your loving heart saying to you? Can you meet yourself with kindness?
Cultivate the good – grow a garden of love in your heart and remember to water it daily. Cultivate more good. Cultivate more love.
Today, I will meet myself with more kindness and cultivate the good.
Mary Anne
Tags: Loving-Kindness, Meditation, Noah Levine, The Heart of the Revolution
Posted in Forgiveness | Toning the Om
July 7th, 2011
The word “divine” keeps showing up in conversations and in books. I noticed that reading or listening to the word divine makes me feel expansive. My divine self is merging with my human self more and more. As they do, I realized I am living the life as only I can.
As Maya Angelou says:
People say that I am remembered by various things, but I hope one of them would be the encouragement to live the life you want to live. Live your life so that you will not leave too many things undone. Live the life you sing about. Live the life. That’s it.
Live your life as only you can. C’mon – get going!
Mary Anne
Posted in Fun | Toning the Om
July 5th, 2011
Summer is here! And I am ready to play. As the poet, Mary Oliver says, “I simply do not distinguish between work and play.” How can your work be more like play? How can your life be one big vacation?
I have many memories of playing outside for hours as a kid. There were many games of kick-ball, hide-n-seek, and even long hours on a pogo stick. I couldn’t wait for recess!
It’s time to return to play. It’s time to see my life, my work, and New York City as one big playground. This summer, I am committing to playing more and more and more.
Want to join me?
Are you ready to play? Tag – you’re it!
Happy July!
Mary Anne
Posted in Fun | Toning the Om
June 28th, 2011
I was obsessed last week listening to the live feed of the New York State Senate as they spent days passing various Bills. I anxiously waited to hear if the Senate would bring the Marriage Equality Act to the floor for a vote. Late Friday, I read Facebook posts and tweets that there would indeed be a vote and the Marriage Equality Act was likely to pass. The vote was going to take place while I was sitting in a Broadway show, The Normal Heart.
The Normal Heart is mostly an autobiographical play by Larry Kramer. It focuses on the early years of the AIDS crisis in New York City from 1981 through 1984, as seen through the eyes of writer/activist Ned Weeks, the gay founder of a major AIDS advocacy group. Ned prefers loud, often angry, public confrontations to the calmer, more private strategies favored by his friends and closeted lover, Felix Turner. Towards the end of the play, there is a poignant scene where the doctor, Emma Brookner, who was a strong advocate for medical research and public awareness, marries Ned Weeks and the dying Felix Turner in the hospital.
While I was watching the scene of Ned and Felix exchanging vows, the New York State Senate had passed the Marriage Equality Act in Albany. A few moments later the play ended and the producer came out on center stage to thank the audience for coming. He went on to say, “And I would like to thank everyone for turning their cell phones off during the performance and as you turn them back on, you will find out that the Marriage Equality Act was just passed.” The audience erupted with shouts and some were overcome with tears. The applause was deafening and as confused tourists were asking those around them what had happened, folks from around the country celebrated this historic moment.
I couldn’t get over how this life-changing experience was happening as I was sitting in the play, The Normal Heart – during a scene of two gay men exchanging vows in a hospital. As I stood applauding, shouting, and crying, I felt an overwhelming feeling of awe and gratitude. It was the 17th anniversary from the day I met my life partner and after all this time, our love and right to be married felt acknowledged and accepted.
I walked out of the play, my eyes swollen with tears, and turned to my partner and said, “My normal heart and marriage equality. I love you.”
Thank you Governor Cuomo, the New York State Senate, and to the four Republican Senators for your courage to honor love and equality – and for passing the Marriage Equality Act!
Mary Anne
Posted in Life | Toning the Om
June 22nd, 2011
After listening to the recent heated debate of whether or not to allow the Marriage Equality Act to come to the New York Senate floor for a vote, I started thinking about how acceptance is easy if we allow it. This sparked a long-ago memory of how my mom came to accept my sexuality. [While this story may not be verbatim, the essence of it is absolutely true.]
My mom was quite distraught (along with other family and friends) about my coming out back in 1996. She was devastated and decided to speak with our local Catholic Pastor, Fr. Davis, whom she had known for a long time. My mom explained just how upset, disappointed, and even scared she was that she had a gay daughter.
The Pastor asked three questions:
“Do you love your daughter?” My mother said of course she loved her daughter.
“Is she kind?” My mother said her daughter was kind and generous and very giving.
“Is she living the Gospel and doing the work of Jesus in the Bronx?” My mother said I was caring for children in the South Bronx and was doing service for others just as Jesus had.
Fr. Davis then asked my mother if anything else mattered other than love and living the Gospels.
Soon after that meeting, my mother called to invite my partner (whom earlier was not allowed to come over) and me to the house for dinner. My mother and father quickly came to love and accept my partner as a part of my life.
Yes, acceptance is that easy if we allow it.
Mary Anne
This is dedicated to my mom who had the courage to question her beliefs and to Fr. Davis – both of whom are now in heaven still telling stories.
Posted in Life | 1 Comment »
June 20th, 2011
It’s been more than 15 years since I came out to my family and friends. I had no idea how my family or friends would respond to me telling them I was gay. I just knew I didn’t want to hide anymore and it was too painful to hold in my true self. I was living with so much fear back then – the fear of being ‘disowned’ by my family and being shunned by my friends; the fear of feeling (more) isolated; even the fear of being hated by my God.
I remember many conversations with God – ones that included a bargaining and a begging to please not make me gay in high school. I thought God, family, and friends would be disappointed and make me feel like an outcast. I believed those thoughts so strongly I spent my high school years feeling depressed. I made myself an outcast to myself. I told myself I was unworthy and believed that too.
So, I understand people when they say hateful things about gays and believe them – I believed those thoughts too and found ways to make it true 20 years ago. The mind will find proof with thoughts we put out into the world. If you tell yourself you are unworthy, you will find all the ways this is true and the mind will confirm it. And if you tell yourself you are a loving being of God, the mind will find proof for that too. As Byron Katie says, “The mind’s job is to validate what it thinks.”
Today, I choose thoughts of love and watch how love flows into my life. I am blessed to have a life-partner for 17 years. And the love from my family and friends is beyond words. All of this has only brought forth more love and acceptance. It started with me loving myself. My fearful thoughts led me to pray not to be gay. My loving thoughts allow me to be grateful to be gay and for all the expansive love.
Gratefully,
Mary Anne
This is dedicated to all those who are scared to come out and the NY State Senate to put forth a vote in favor of the Marriage Equality Act.
Posted in Life | Toning the Om
June 17th, 2011
And are you waiting, awaiting the one thing,
that increases your life infinitely,
the powerful, the enormous,
the awakening of the stones,
depths, turned torward you.
Rainer Maria Rilke, poet (1875-1926)
Are you still waiting?
Mary Anne
Posted in Life | Toning the Om
June 15th, 2011
“Meditation is a word for being still and taking some time to notice the kindness and support of reality.” ~Byron Katie
Have you noticed all the support sytems that exist?
Have you noticed how kindness shows up in your life?
Have you noticed that reality is so kind?
Have you noticed?
Breathe yourself full of kindness and support. Watch how that naturally flows back to you. Breathe yourself full of love. Thank yourself.
Mary Anne
Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om
