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I spent four years as a cheerleader – from 5th grade through 8th grade. It gave me the chance to use my big mouth and spend time with my best friend, Julie. We would have practices on Tuesday nights and then cheer the boy’s basketball games on Friday nights.
I wasn’t the most athletic or flexible. Some of the cheerleaders could do backflips all the way down the court. Others could flip from the top of our cheering pyramid. I was petite and strong. I loved learning the cheers and wearing my white saddle shoes. I wasn’t as crazy for the skirts and pigtails.
Given my height, I was usually found in the front of the cheering line. And keeping our lines straight and smiles on our face was an important part of being a cheerleader. We also entered tournaments, which included routines and loud cheers. Part of our routine was building a cheering pyramid. By creatively combining lifts, poses and dismounts, you end up with a sort of mega stunt that often impressed the judges. I was frequently at the bottom of the pyramid. I remember my hands and knees on the floor while another girl’s knee would lean into my back as we built a three-layer pyramid.
If anyone felt like they couldn’t hold the pyramid and needed help, they were to shout, “Falling.” During one tournament, as we started to build our pyramid, I felt uncomfortable. I could feel the pressure from another cheerleader’s knee digging into my back. I wanted to hold on and keep smiling. As we continued with building the pyramid, I couldn’t hold on any longer. I shouted, “Falling.” The other cheerleaders didn’t hear me. Perhaps my shout on the inside was a whisper on the outside. Suddenly, I went down bringing the pyramid with me. No one was hurt as everyone started to properly dismantle. I remember after the tournament the coach yelling at me for not shouting “falling” loud enough for our team to hear.
Looking back now, maybe I didn’t realize how much the cheerleaders were leaning on me (literally). Maybe I am still learning the lesson of leaning on people in my life. Maybe we all need a code word when we need support. Maybe when we feel ourselves collapsing, we can shout out, “Falling.”
Seven years ago, I began planning a week-long retreat that would take place on the Big Island of Hawaii. I wanted to spend a week exploring our wild cosmic heart. I had no idea that a week before the retreat a hurricane would sweep the East Coast. I had no idea that three weeks before the retreat I would have medical appointments and not feel well. I had no idea that my heart would feel so heavy and raw.
In November of 2012 as I prepared to leave for my flight, I thought of canceling – of staying home to help family and friends affected by the storm. I thought about how I would reschedule my medical appointments that were canceled due to the power outages from the hurricane. I thought about volunteering somewhere to help hurricane victims who lost everything.
When I asked friends if I should still lead the retreat, they all gave the same answer – YES. I listened and took an 11-hour flight to Hawaii. I arrived exhausted and anxious. When I arrived at my room, two large geckos were awaiting me. I barley slept my first night and, in the morning, I met with the Group Manager. She greeted me with a big hug and my eyes filled with tears.
As the week continued I knew I was in the right place (not only because it was Hawaii). I met so many people willing to explore their hearts. I met people who were open to being seen and heard. I met people who were willing to be vulnerable. As I sat and listened to the retreat participants, I became more in awe of the many people who live their life celebrating and tending to their wild cosmic heart.
I met Louise whose husband was dying of brain cancer. I met Yolanda who celebrated her 75th birthday with friends and a group of strangers. I watched Tina snorkel with joy as she swam in the warm ponds. I smiled as Angela took her first hula class. I listened to Francine remember that she can drum and sing. I took a picture of Susan sitting in her shamanic earth mandala, which she made in the roots of a huge tree. I laughed with Lisa in the water, like a teenager with the giggles.
Most of all, I remember that my heart felt open and grateful. I realized that when I open and invite others into my heart, the world expands. Many in the our sacred circle were longing for connection, community, and belonging. The Wild Cosmic Heart Retreats offers just that — deep connections through guided meditations, mindfulness walks around trees, shamanic journeying to the garden of the heart, and sacred play. In the midst of worry and responsibility, participants from around the world were willing to drop the armor around their heart.
I even befriended the Geckos, known to me as Heckle and Jeckle. The retreat was so powerful that I have taught it again and again. And this November, I will be facilitating the Wild Cosmic Heart Retreat at Kalani on the Big Island of Hawaii, November 4-10, 2018. Join us for a week of daily meditations, mindfulness walks in the luscious tropics, shamanic journeying, and homemade ice cream! What is your wild cosmic heart asking of you?
Are you willing to listen to your most profound sound living in you and dream it into being?
Am launching a new shamanic teaching and journey program – the Drum and the Dream. It was time to birth new life into shamanic healing and teaching practices.
As I focused more on ways to nourish peace within myself, I meditated on nurturing a direct path to peace. This led me to my heart-center and connecting to my inner rhythm. Deep meditation and writing allowed me to relate to my personal rhythm and connect it to universal rhythms. This shamanic journey of the heart led to profound processes and my path into the Drum and the Dream.
Are you willing to expand the maximum capacity of your heart?
Perhaps by connecting to our own personal rhythm, we can relate to those around us in new ways. We can connect with our heart first and then our mind. We can connect on deeper levels, beyond the known and into the unknown and unseen world. We can meet each other with purpose. We can learn ways to release anger and open to patience acceptance. We can learn ways to relate to our own personal rhythms that live inside of us. We can step into the life we have been longing for.
Maybe it is time to embark on a deep personal healing journey.
We are all dreaming the world into being. It is not the sleeping dream we’re familiar with, but the waking dream we craft with our eyes open. When we awaken our power to dream, we can begin to create original dreams that allow us to embrace the ever-shifting landscape with equanimity and courage.
Welcome to the Drum and the Dream!
We will be offering the Drum and Dream shamanic teaching and journeys who will share more specifics of the processes and practices you will learn in the Rhythms of the East workshop/training starting in April 2018.
** Also, save the date: the Drum and the Dream Shamanic Retreat: Rhythms of the East will be held at Menla Retreat Center in the Catskills, September 28-30, 2018.
On a recent trip to Florida, I met up with my friend, Evonn. We walked around the beautiful Morikami Japanese Gardens. As we walked around the gardens, Evonn shared a story about slowing down. Evonn was helping her grandchildren get ready for school and wanted to be sure they caught their school bus on time. Her five year old grandson, Charlie, was in no rush as he wandered around the house at his own pace. Evonn was making sure his socks and shoes were on as they walked to the front door. Charlie came to a stop. He looked up at Evonn and said, “Tiny steps.” The pace slowed down and Evonn and Charlie walked to the door taking tiny steps. It was a lesson in being present and slowing down. In a time when everyone seems to be rushing around, a five year old child reminds us to stop and pay attention. Take tiny steps. Be present. Slow down. Be.
Evonn shared with Charlie over the holidays that she liked his “tiny steps.” Charlie responded, “Oh, I don’t do tiny steps anymore.” He had moved on into a new present movement. As my friend Evonn shared, “May we stay in the moment and move right on.”
We can learn a lot from taking tiny steps. And we can learn even more from a five year old.
As I sat ready to release 2017 (and I was ready!), I listened for what 2018 was preparing me for. What energy, focus, theme, word or phrase did I need most for the new year? Devotion.
Devotion to stillness, to meditation, to love, to service, to creating, to healing, to traveling, to causes, to writing, to connections, and to nourishing peace.
I also ask our community to share and declare their word/s and focus for 2018. The global response was amazing. Here are some that have been shared by our tribe:
For the first few years of my meditation practice, I sat in formal lotus posture cross-legged with my back straight and often unsupported. Now for the past two years I sit very differently. My sitting practice teaches me to listen. It’s my way of becoming present. It’s my way of being completely relaxed and comfortable on a chair, or a cushion, or even on a seat in the subway. I have chosen to be comfortable during my practice. This comfort has taught me about how my body rests. My sitting practices has taught me how to more deeply listen to my body and mind. My legs can be crossed or not. My legs can be flat on the floor or not. I just sit upright, comfortably, relaxed and natural. I give myself complete permission to just sit without judging my sitting or anything that arises during my practice.
I place my hands either resting on the arms of the chair, my lap or my palms facing upwards on my lap, whichever is more comfortable. My palms are in the cosmic or also known as the universal mudra, left palm on top of my right, thumb-tips touching. I expand my shoulders so I can feel my heart-center open. I am in receive mode. I either close my eyes or leave them partially open looking down.
I begin sitting with four very slow, deep breaths, expelling all the air through my mouth. Breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, I continue to count these slow deep breaths for a few moments. Then I begin breathing naturally with mouth closed, through the nostrils only, dropping the counting and just sitting without judgments. I allow my mind to wander until it fades. I see the thoughts as floating and passing – this way there is no grasping at one particular thought. Sitting in a non-judging mind takes time – a daily or lifetime practice.
Sitting in this way I can completely relax, and make adjustments if I feel any pain anywhere in my body. I sit for fifteen minutes to one hour. It has become a daily ritual that allows me to start my day with ease and grace. Sitting daily teaches me how to be present. I don’t need to get caught up in chaos. Sitting has taught me to slow down.
There is real joy and pleasure in serving and being present for others. There is a very deep appreciation for being who we are, and not needing to change or fix anyone. Allowing you to be you and me to just be me. Sitting gives me permission to let go, drop into a deeper place within, and live from that place. It is not always easy. When I am stuck, I go back to the breath. When I feel overwhelmed I go back to the cushion. In the stillness within, I experience peace again and again and again. If I am willing to sit, just sit, I discover what remains – pure joy.
My father-in-law, Don, had a wonderful sense of humor and loved to laugh. He would come up with funny names and phrases. I was no exception. My nickname from Don when he was calling me was, “Hey Irish.”
Don was an incredible photographer. He not only took wonderful pictures, but also kept detailed notes on the back of them. He always tracked who, where, and when the photos were taken. He had an amazing eye for taking pictures. Don had been a part-time wedding and newspaper photographer when his children were growing up.
In the late 90’s, Don realized how much of an interest I had in photography and he offered some advice on how to frame photos using various viewpoints. He taught me how to see with a new lens. It’s not easy – seeing with a new lens. He liked to show me how to breakdown the parts of a picture: the foreground, the main view and the background. See the whole thing. When he showed me how to capture an image or a person, he would often advise me to see the whole picture – take in the whole scene. Don wanted me to see more than the photograph I wanted to take. Rather, his advice was often about opening myself up to the larger view, the larger lens, and the larger frame.
I have taken many photos for the past 20 years with new eyes thanks to my father-in-law’s wisdom of seeing through new eyes and a new lens. And now when I photograph a moment using his technique of viewing, framing, and capturing, I always think of him. He was a good teacher.
I don’t think I ever got the chance to say thank you. Don, thank you – I see the world with a bigger lens because of you. Love, Irish
I sat with an egret for a moment – just a few moments.
I watched as it sat still letting the breeze blow its feathers.
Slowly the egret reached down into the water and snatched a fish.
I watched as the egret sauntered lifting each black foot up and out of the water without a sound.
Its slow steady movement was meditation in action.
Each step reminded me to be present.
I sat with an egret and was reminded to be still.
I watched an egret for a moment and realized that’s all we ever have – this moment.
The birds – they see everything. They fly overhead seeing everything. The birds have a different view.
View. The view of the heart. Does that not watch over everything too? How do we watch over? With love? With judgment? With peace? With an open heart?
Is there a being of love watching over everything? Perhaps this is my faith calling me back. Maybe I am ready, listening, and remembering to return.
Returning to light and darkness. Day and night. Doesn’t that watch over us too?
The night sky – looking up – watching over everything through the stars. The lights blinking, glowing, soaring through the sky. What do the stars see through their lens of light?
The light passes. The darkness opens me up to more light. Here I am shining. Here we are shining.
I have learned how much is watching over me. In the end, it is love, always love, watching over me. Here I AM: SKY, SPIRIT, STARS, LOVE watching….
Watching over everything.
This essay was inspired from the Prompt a Day Program with Cynthia Morris.
Enjoy a five minute meditation on peace recorded in Ireland. Spend a few minutes enjoying meditating on peace. Notice what happens when you take time to really breathe in and breathe out peace. Spend a few moments breathing peace, being peace, and extending peace to others. From a place of peace, life becomes filled with ease and joy. Remember – we are only one breath away from peace. Enjoy this meditation with Mary Anne Flanagan, Toning the OM. This was filmed in County Cork, Ireland.
This meditation is dedicated to my beloved Godfather, Uncle Billy.
chance to use my big mouth and spend time with my best friend, Julie. We would have practices on Tuesday nights and then cheer the boy’s basketball games on Friday nights.
