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Posts Tagged ‘Listen’

Embracing the Quiet

Wednesday, February 17th, 2021

I have come to terms with doing less and being more. I have written so many things in my head that have not made their way to the page. I have come to terms with spending the past year being in the moment. While I have appreciated seeing or reading about many people being so productive this past year (learning a new skill or cleaning out rooms or closets), I have spent the last 12 months listening and tending to myself.

Instead of keeping busy, I have been quiet. With less meetings, events, baseball games, nights out, vacations, or people to get together with, my schedule became empty—and I chose to not fill it. Rather, I studied the birds out my window. And watched the starlings leave the pine tree when it became invaded by grackles. I watched the cherry trees bloom from the bare branches to large pink flowers. I marveled at the squirrels leaping from tree to tree as the great chase became a daily comedy show. I lingered with my morning coffee enjoying the ever-changing sky. Unable to read novels most of last year, I found myself downloading podcasts and binge-watching television shows. At first, I felt guilty about my inability to read, write, or facilitate (on-line) workshops. And I made the mistake of comparing myself to other people who seemed to be doing so much. Yet, friends shared that they felt just as alone and scared during this time.

I was feeling so much grief about losing people I knew to the virus, working alone in my dining room for hours, staying inside, and the loss of not seeing family and friends. In The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Wheeler writes, “Grief also reveals the undeniably reality of our bond with the world…We need grief in order to heal these traumas and make sense of a world turned upside.”

I needed grief to show me the way out and show the way in. I needed this quiet time to connect me to grace and God. And I needed to embrace the quiet within myself. Am not sure what this time will mean to me years from now or what lessons it will have given me. But I know that I have appreciated the small things, like long walks, songbirds, books, my sister’s homemade meals, and the need to not rush anywhere. For now, the quiet feels like a homecoming. And for today, I am embracing the quiet.

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Real Change Starts With Each of Us

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2020

“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing there are still helpers; so many caring people in this world.” Fred Rogers

At a time of upheaval and uncertainty; at a time when the world seems upside down, and those who have been oppressed for so long, I look for the helpers. I look for those being of service.

When I feel overwhelmed, my first response is to pause and to sit in stillness. I want to listen to what’s happening inside. It is only from that space and place that I can truly listen to what is happening outside. Sitting in stillness helps me have clarity about what I am feeling and what I am called to do next.

There is so much sorrow (and rage) over the death of George Floyd and the recent death of black lives. We can no longer turn our backs on those who experience inequality, injustice, and senseless violence. Real change starts with each one of us. We must be the change. We must be invested in changing ourselves and educating ourselves. We must be invested in changing leaders who have stopped listening. We must be invested in listening, leaning in, and serving.

We must look for the helpers. And we must be the helpers. We need to start opening our hearts, our minds, and ourselves. We must be of service to those who don’t have a voice. Change starts heart by heart; mind by mind.

Please be of service to those who don’t have a voice. Please be sure to vote in every election, especially local ones. Please consider looking at organizations doing some of the work in communities bringing change. Please check out Color of Change, an organization that designs powerful campaigns to end practices of injustice for black people and champion solutions to move forward.

Toning the OM is committed to advocating for change and supporting racial justice through education and service. We too grieve with all those suffering loss. We are invested in listening, learning, leaning in, and being of service.

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Just For This Moment

Tuesday, April 7th, 2020

Just for this moment is a phrase that showed up in my meditation. It is a phrase that is keeping me grounded. I have said many times to myself as a reminder to stay present to now.

Meditation:

Just for this moment feel without seeking another experience.

Feel the sensations in your whole body.

Let them move, intensify or dissipate.


Allow your feelings to stay or leave.

Bow to your feelings.

Just for this moment be silent or let your voice be heard.

Be gentle with yourself.

Know that your heart is vast and can hold your feelings.

Be a sanctuary for yourself.

Just for this moment.

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When Birds Squawk, I Listen

Thursday, January 23rd, 2020

One of the things I love about the winter is looking out my window and bird watching. It is especially beautiful this time of year because the trees are bare, so the birds are easier to see and find. The cardinals hang out in my backyard and the blue jays sprawl to the highest height to look around. The mockingbirds hang out on the utility wire and the small sparrows find their way to the bottom of the bushes. I like to think they are “hunkering down” when the winds, rain, and snow comes blowing their way.

I have noticed that there have been less birds this winter. As I sit with my coffee on the weekends, I look out my window and notice that the sky is quiet – not a single bird around me. I wasn’t sure what had changed from last winter to this one until a hawk appeared a few weeks ago right outside my window. Now I know why the birds were hiding – they are afraid of the hawk!

This past weekend the birds returned to the front and back of the house. I love watching their behavior. Suddenly, a blue jay started screaming. It was clearly an alarm to the other birds that there was danger nearby. It began to imitate the red-tailed hawk. The loud screams and distressed cries were a warning to other birds. Quickly, birds began to flee and disappear to get away from the hawk.

I began to think about the birds and their survival techniques. I thought about how they support and defend one another (not always, I know). But I was reminded how the blue jays quickly began to warn the other birds when they knew danger was coming. I admired that the blue jays knew when and how to cry out for help and the other birds listened. Sometimes, I too, have no words when I want to cry out for help. Sometimes I want to scream out when I see other family members or friends in danger or sense their pain. Sometimes, I too, want to hunker down and feel the protection of the shrubs and the miracle of nature.

I haven’t yet mastered the wild call of the blue jays to warn others nor have I mastered my ability to cry out when I need more support. Maybe the blue jays will show me how. Maybe the birds will give me the gift of knowing when to appear and when to hunker down. For now, I listen to the call of the birds as a reminder that everything will be alright.

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Daring Deeply on a Path of the Heart

Thursday, January 3rd, 2013

I came across this poem by Carlos Castaneda that reminded me of living a path of vulnerability with heart.

You must always keep in mind that a path is only a path.
Each path is only one of a million paths.
If you feel that you must now follow it,
you need not stay with it under any circumstances.
Any path is only a path.
There is no affront to yourself or others in dropping a path
if that is what your heart tells you to do.
But your decision to keep on a path or to leave it
must be free of fear and ambition.
I caution you: look at every path closely and deliberately.
Try it as many times as you think necessary.
Then ask yourself and yourself alone this one question.
Does this path have a heart?
All paths are the same. They lead nowhere.
They are paths going through the brush or into the brush
or under the brush of the Universe.
The only question is: Does this path have a heart?
If it does, then it is a good path.
If it doesn’t, then it is of no use.

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Empty the Bucket

Tuesday, June 5th, 2012

As I traveled to Peru, I knew I needed to let go of some pre-conceived thoughts so I could make room for all the information and beauty I would encounter. I wrote in my journal, “I am willing to let go and let in.” There is no room if the bucket (of my mind) is full. I went to Peru with an empty bucket and it was filled with so much insight, joy, and laughter.

On my second day in Lima, I passed this little boy helping his father gather all the grass clippings and place them in the bucket. As soon as I took this photo, the little boy looked up and dumped the bucket of grass and smiled. His father quietly walked over with his broom and together they refilled the bucket.

As I smiled at the boy and his father, I was simply reminded: empty the bucket.

Empty the bucket and make room for more.

Over the next few weeks I will be posting my insights about my journey to Peru – after I empty the bucket of my mind.

Enjoy! Mary Anne

{Photo taken by Mary Anne Flanagan, Lima, Peru}

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Look for the Wonders Inside. They Exist, Always.

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

I just returned home from Egypt! The days leading up to the trip felt uncharacteristically calm for me. Given my level of energy, I would have normally been running around. I didn’t even make a packing list. (This from someone who organizes their clothes by color!) I just went with the flow. I listened as other people gave their various opinions about the trip. I heard everything from, “Have a wonderful time”, “Make sure you take lots of pictures”, “I can’t wait to read your stories from the trip” to “You are crazy”, “I would never go to Egypt” and  one person even said, “I think you’re stupid for going.” Maybe everybody was right in some form, and yet, I found myself going to Egypt anyway.

This was more than an adventure. It was a chance to travel on a spiritual adventure with a group who was very open to exploring, sharing, experiencing, and listening to the wonders of Egypt, their own hearts, and one another.  As a teacher and healer, I was called to go.

This was more than experiencing the “Wonders of Egypt.” It was about experiencing the wonders inside that always exist. I had no idea what 18 days in Egypt would be like, but I was open to experiencing a new culture and meeting new people. I traveled with 9 men and they were so generous, kind, loving, and supporting throughout the entire trip. I now have 9 new friends (who are more like family). And how could I pass up an opportunity to visit a country that loves drumming?

I am still processing this amazing journey. As I integrate the experience, I have learned that while there are many beautiful temples, sacred sites, and wonders of the world, that all of that exists inside of me know matter where I go. I found many treasures, temples, and sacred sites within myself.

Look for the wonders inside. They exist, always.
Mary Anne

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Welcome Home

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

While attending a Journal Writing class at the New York Open Center, we were asked to do a guided visualization. The teacher invited us to think about having a conversation with someone who had passed away even if we had not met them before and ask them for a message that would be meaningful to hear. I sat with my eyes closed, breathing softly, and my Uncle Edmond from Ireland came to mind. I had never met him, but I had memories of how much my father loved him and was so upset after he passed away in 1983 at a young age.

I asked Uncle Edmond for a message. I listened intently and wrote the following:
You are the way; once you believe that and claim that, the way will be open for you. The past is always available, the present is always free, and the future is always open. Listen to yourself, honor yourself, remember yourself, love yourself. That is the way. You are home.

As the teacher, Catherine Ann Jones, said, “It’s not the past events, but the way we remember them.” And in the end, it’s about coming home to ourselves.

Welcome home.
Mary Anne

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What Is Today Asking of You?

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010

What is this day asking of you? It’s so easy to get caught up in the daily routines of life. We can mindlessly go about our business – getting our children dressed, having breakfast, commuting to work, running errands, or driving our car – that we forget about all the little moments in between that show us the miracles all around us. Are we willing to listen?


What’s new about today? What would you like to see change and are willing to do one thing to make that happen?

I have often heard people say, “It’s the way it is.” Yes, it is the way it is, until it’s not.

How will you listen to this day and all it brings you?

Mary Anne

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Listening to My Father’s Wisdom

Monday, May 10th, 2010

Growing up, my father had many expressions: “Take your time, but don’t be long”; “You can always replace money, but you can’t replace a person”; “It takes a lot longer to fill out an accident report than it does to take your time on the road” and on and on. He also had his way of imparting values of how his daughters ought to be in the world. If I had to sum up the four cornerstones of how to live life through my father’s expressions, it would be this:

Tell the Truth.
It’s a lot easier to remember the truth and own up if you have done something. It’s a lot harder to remember the lies or stories and the truth always gets revealed.

Say Please/Thank You.
Manners say a lot about a person. There is such respect in an exchange that includes a please or thank you. In the end, people feel connected and want to help when they hear polite words.

Never Hate (Disliking Is OK).
You don’t have to like everybody, but hating serves no purpose and is only draining. Plus, the cost to hate is more hurtful to the one hating. Do we really need more enemies?

Quiet Please Rather Than Shut Up.
There is nothing worse than being stifled or put down. We can be kinder and gentler with one another. Asking for quiet brings peace back to us.

Think about the wisdom your family has shared with you and how it has shown up in your life and the values you teach others. I am grateful that my parents demonstrated generosity, service, and strong work values.

Thank you, Dad.
Mary Anne

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