Posts Tagged ‘Spiritual Stories’
A Midwife to My Heart
Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013
Longing to experience the sacred as I navigate through life, I have read hundreds of spiritual books, traveled to many holy places, met with dozens of beloved teachers, and sat in meditation until my legs (or entire body) fell asleep. Many of the methods have worked and at times they haven’t. But in my quest for the sacred within, I have discovered one way that allows me to experience the divine and go beyond the veil of my own limited beliefs and illusions. That way is the role of midwife to my heart.
My most profound experiences as a midwife to my heart emerge when I am able to step out of the way and be overwhelmed by something far greater than my own opinions, fears, doubts, and worries. Being a midwife of my heart has humbled me, awakened me, challenged me, and healed me. I am being called to show more vulnerability, expand my definition of extended family, and share my deep awareness and emotions with other midwives of the heart. It is our profound connections, our deep desires, and our wild cosmic hearts that connects us in the vastness of inner abyss.
My life and my work has been about being a midwife to the wild and wonderful ─ to the unknown and the uncertainty. Being a midwife to my heart requires a delicate blend of curiosity, courage, trust, wisdom, and the willingness to sit in the pain and discomfort. It’s a willingness to bear witness to what’s happening on the inside and take a deep dive within. As my heart expands, a new way of being is born ─ breath by breath. Every moment becomes sacred and tender.
Being a midwife to my heart can mean risk getting hurt and being mocked. But not doing it means losing some of the most meaningful connections possible. It means charting new waters, leaning into joy, daring greatly, loving deeply, living courageously, and sharing my heart with those who have earned my trust.
The birth of more love, more joy, more peace, and more connection is worth the effort. By being a midwife to my heart, I’ve birthed many meaningful relationships. I have lost some too. Yet, being a midwife to my heart has taught me to appreciate each person and the role they played in birthing new life in the world.
Perhaps you feel called to be a midwife of your heart ─ to the wild, the wonderful, and the unknown. Being a midwife of my heart is a journey and I don’t know where it is going to take me next. I’m ready for new birth and more connection. You are invited to join me in exploring what is too deep for words and too powerful for meaning, yet a miraculous experience of the heart.
Have you experienced being a midwife to your heart? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
Harrowing Haircuts
Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
Get out of the chair. Get out of the chair. That was what the voice in my head was saying as I was sitting getting a haircut. I had already asked the hairdresser more than once to be gentle with my head. She had jerked my head from side to side as she was cutting it. Finally, as she started blow-drying my hair, I saw she had not listened to me about the style of cut I had stated I wanted. After taking a deep breath, I said, “Stop.” I stood up with the towel around my neck draped in the robe and said I wanted the assistant manager to fix my haircut. The hairdresser looked at me and said, “What’s your problem?” I walked away and sat in the waiting area and asked for the assistant manager and explained that I was unhappy and needed her to fix the haircut.
My voice was shaking, my hands were shaking, and I just wanted to run out of the salon. I knew I needed to speak up. I knew I needed to get out of the chair. I knew I needed to have someone more gentle and aware of what they were doing and how they were treating a client.
In general, I hate getting my haircut. I usually dread getting it. I feel so vulnerable in the chair while someone with scissors ultimately decides how long or short or how straight or wavy they make my hair. There is something unnerving about getting haircuts.
As I have declared 2013 my year of Daring Deeply, it took all my courage to get out of the chair and advocate for myself. I am learning to trust that inner voice more and more and take action. Life is about opening our hearts and listening to the calling of wisdom that beckons us forward.
Here is what that experience taught me: Get out of the chair. Speak up. Take peaceful actions.
Daring Deeply on a Path of the Heart
Thursday, January 3rd, 2013
I came across this poem by Carlos Castaneda that reminded me of living a path of vulnerability with heart.
You must always keep in mind that a path is only a path.
Each path is only one of a million paths.
If you feel that you must now follow it,
you need not stay with it under any circumstances.
Any path is only a path.
There is no affront to yourself or others in dropping a path
if that is what your heart tells you to do.
But your decision to keep on a path or to leave it
must be free of fear and ambition.
I caution you: look at every path closely and deliberately.
Try it as many times as you think necessary.
Then ask yourself and yourself alone this one question.
Does this path have a heart?
All paths are the same. They lead nowhere.
They are paths going through the brush or into the brush
or under the brush of the Universe.
The only question is: Does this path have a heart?
If it does, then it is a good path.
If it doesn’t, then it is of no use.
Arousing Our Hearts to Life
Thursday, July 26th, 2012
I have been reading a lot of David Whyte’s poetry as I prepare for my upcoming retreat in Hawaii, The Wild Cosmic Heart. I have been reading about what arouses, awakens, opens, shifts, transforms, and lifts the heart. What would it take to listen to our wild, cosmic heart? As Whyte wrote, “Sometimes everything has to be inscribed across the heavens so you can find the one line already written inside you.”
In his book, Crossing the Unknown Sea, there is a poem that speaks to becoming more visible, to risking everything to becoming alive.
There is a lovely root to the word humiliation – from the latin word humus, meaning soil or ground. When we are humiliated, we are in effect returning to the ground of our being.
Shedding the carapace we have been building so assiduously on the surface, we must by definition give up exactly what we thought was necessary to protect us from further harm. The outlaw is the radical, the one close to the roots of existence. The one who refuses to forget their humanity and in remembering, helps everyone else remember too.
To die inside, is to rob our outside life of any sense of arrival from that interior. Our work is to make ourselves visible in the world. This is the soul’s individual journey, and the soul would much rather fail at its own life than succeed at someone else’s.
If you want to explore your untamed heart and risk becoming more alive, then join me in Hawaii November 4-10, 2012 where we will explore the vast sea of our hearts.
Empty the Bucket
Tuesday, June 5th, 2012
As I traveled to Peru, I knew I needed to let go of some pre-conceived thoughts so I could make room for all the information and beauty I would encounter. I wrote in my journal, “I am willing to let go and let in.” There is no room if the bucket (of my mind) is full. I went to Peru with an empty bucket and it was filled with so much insight, joy, and laughter.
On my second day in Lima, I passed this little boy helping his father gather all the grass clippings and place them in the bucket. As soon as I took this photo, the little boy looked up and dumped the bucket of grass and smiled. His father quietly walked over with his broom and together they refilled the bucket.
As I smiled at the boy and his father, I was simply reminded: empty the bucket.
Empty the bucket and make room for more.
Over the next few weeks I will be posting my insights about my journey to Peru – after I empty the bucket of my mind.
Enjoy! Mary Anne
{Photo taken by Mary Anne Flanagan, Lima, Peru}
And Grace Appeared…
Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
As a lot of grief swept through me the days and weeks leading up to Mother’s Day, I reached out to some friends and spiritual teachers for guidance. One long-time teacher left me a message saying, “Go easy. Be gentle with yourself. Be your best companion to yourself on Sunday because you deserve it.” I am still learning how to be my best companion, especially when grief consumes my heart.
I wrote the words, “Be your best companion” in my small journal as I headed into the city. I wasn’t sure how I could practice this and asked to receive a reminder of my own gentle companionship. As I walked down the street, I happened to look up and saw a building with big letters that read: GRACE.
And grace appeared … a clear reminder.
How could I be my own best companion? It was clear – with Grace.
And so it is.
Mary Anne
Befriending Ourselves – Again
Tuesday, March 27th, 2012
As we enter a new season here on the East Coast, I am reminded of all the new growth that is (always) possible. It’s a season of renewal and new life emerging from the earth. I catch myself in awe of the beauty of Spring and its bursting of colors. Perhaps because it seems earlier than usual, the trees and flowers look brighter. I find myself asking, “Was that magnolia always that pink?” And I have found myself befriending Spring. What or who else is there to befriend?
I want to emerge from the earth the way the flowers do – slowly, effortlessly, and with joy. To emerge, I must befriend myself. But how? In her book, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life, Dawna Markova speaks about personal renewal and living with purpose. She writes about entering the abyss and entering life with wholeheartedness. One of Markova’s paragraphs spoke powerfully to me:
So many of us are afraid of meeting ourselves, alone, without distraction. We have been taught to fashion an image of who we think we are supposed to be and show that to the world. Through the fear of knowing who we really are we sidestep our own destiny, which leaves us hungry in a famine of our own making. Each of us is here to give something that only we can offer, and when we avoid knowing ourselves, we end up living numb, passionless lives, disconnected from our soul’s true purpose. But when you have the courage to shape your life from the essence of who you are, you ignite, becoming truly alive. This requires letting go of everything that is inauthentic. But how can you know your truth unless you slow down, in your own quiet company?
How can I befriend myself like I am this Spring season?
Yours in friendship, Mary Anne
I Am Willing to Give Myself Space For…
Thursday, March 15th, 2012
Dawn Markova writes in her book, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life, about personal renewal and living with purpose. She invites us to look more closely at our lives, our hearts, and our choices. Markova invites readers to allow ourselves the space to be as we are.
There was particular excerpt from her book that really resonated with me:
I have come to this refuge because it is a safe place in which to tell the truth about what I feel. I am groping to understand what it might mean to truly love my life, to find out who I am beyond the economic necessities of being a mind-for-hire. I want to stop running from my own tiredness, from the fear that if I am not accomplishing something, I will disappear.
I need to recover a rhythm in my heart that moves my body first and my mind second, that allows my soul to catch up with me. I need to take a sacred pause, as if I were a sun-warmed rock in the center of a gushing river.
In essence, I need to come home to myself.
What are you coming home to inside yourself? What are you willing to make space for?
I am making space for stillness and coming home to freedom. And you?
Mary Anne
Are You Ready to Explore Your Wild Cosmic Heart?
Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
Experience the exquisite and ecstatic energy of your heart that connects you to your authentic self. Using primarily classic meditations methods, shamanic journeying, guided visualizations, as well as other experiential practices, we will explore some important aspects of the heart. We will be drawing on the physical and energetic experiences as well as the inspiration of poetry and lore from various cultures, myths and spiritual traditions to awaken our untamed heart. Our week long retreat includes experiencing shamanic practices and other rituals to awaken and access our greatest source of power – our heart.
This special retreat will be held at Kalani Oceanside Retreat. Kalani is on the Big Island and is bordered by tropical jungle and the Pacific Ocean. Kalani Honua means harmony of heaven and earth and our retreat will allow you to experience this.
The retreat includes:
– exploring heart-centered practices …
Mahalo~
Mary Anne